KYOTO — After embarrassingly releasing game cartridges for the Nintendo Switch that tasted bad, Nintendo HQ confirmed this week that the cartridges for their tentatively-titled upcoming console will instead taste delicious.
“It was a manufacturing error, plain and simple,” stated Nintendo president Shuntaro Furukawa. “We were planning for Breath of the Wild cartridges to taste like ‘wild cherry blast’, offering an additional incentive for gamers to buy physical copies. Instead it came out all wrong, and tasted like pesticide, quite frankly. Please don’t ask how I know that.”
Shinya Takahashi, general manager of Nintendo’s Entertainment Planning & Development Division, echoed Furukawa’s statements.
“Part of our reasoning for going back to cartridges in the first place was so that our games would taste absolutely delectable,” said Takahashi. “You just can’t make CDs taste good, we tried. Why do you think the WiiU was a financial failure? Honestly a big reason we stuck with cartridges for the Nintendo 64 was because we thought we could give them some flavor, but sadly that big gray clamshell casing didn’t allow people to easily slither their tongues inside for a taste.”
Gamers quickly responded to the big news.
“Am I the only one who thinks that Switch games taste good?” replied ToiletMario34. “Seriously, have you guys tasted Super Mario Bros. Wonder yet? It’s delicious! Of course COVID has kind of affected my taste buds, so everything’s been kind of off for me for a while, but it still tastes better than anything Sony or Microsoft have released in ages.”
At press time, Nintendo and Hard Drive both would like to stress that you should not try to eat your video games on any gaming consoles either current or upcoming.