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NIMBY Protoss Oppose the Construction of Additional Pylons

AIUR — Angry Protoss demonstrated outside of a local nexus after the region’s Judicator announced plans to construct pylons in order to provide power for future development.

“This used to be such a nice neighborhood,” said Fedranix, a high templar who organized the rally. “Mostly templar, like myself, but there were a couple of nice zealots and even a surprisingly polite dragoon family. You knew everyone and sent them pleasant tidings over our shared psionic network when you went out to get the morning paper. More pylons means more people, and I don’t want to invite the wrong sort, especially now that the exiles have returned to Aiur. Plus, I don’t like all the talk of this stargate they want to build. It’ll bring too much bustle and noise. Sure, we’ve already got a robotics facility, but that’s used so rarely that you barely notice it.”

The Judicator who devised the new construction defended his proposal.

“Everyone wants the things that pylons power, but no one wants the pylons,” said Judicator Azadar, who noted that all regions are experiencing similar increased development. “They love the safety that photon cannons provide, but those cannons are worthless unless they’re near a pylon. They get mad at ordinances that don’t allow them to have pets, but guess what? Pets count against supply limits. You know what increases supply limits? That’s right: pylons.”

Jared Riley, a vulture rider in the rival Terran faction, claimed that the issue was caused by what he said were fundamental flaws in Protoss infrastructure.

“Yeah, we Terrans don’t want all of that so-called ‘energy’ permeating through our homes,” said Riley. “That’s why we got the supply depot system. Just stockpiling natural resources ‘til you can burn ‘em up in your hog — or goliath, or wraith. ‘Course, our system ain’t perfect. I sent my kid to the academy to be a firebat, and she came back as a medic with all sorts of liberal ideas in her head. Maybe we could learn something from how the Protoss indoctrinate their zealots.”

At press time, Fedranix was seen standing at his window with a pair of binoculars, making note of every unit that teleported into the neighborhood from the local gateway.