THE FORGOTTEN LANDS — Japanese roleplaying game character Saraqael keeps insisting to party members that there’s nothing weird about his name.
“Look, it’s just a name. It’s not a big deal or anything. I have absolutely no intention of turning into a giant purple dragon who cackles to himself while monologuing about the destruction I intend to bring to the world,” Saraqael insisted, sharpening the legendary Blade of the Damned, which was gifted to him by his mysterious uncle. “I’ve never even heard of whatever a ‘bible’ is, let alone the fallen archangel watcher who lusted after the daughters of men. That sounds made up. I’m just a normal guy like everybody else. I like hanging out with my friends, wearing belts all over my body, and muttering about the bloodlust I feel when I think about what happened to my family. So just drop it.”
Despite the character’s insistence, other members of the party were not convinced.
“I mean look at us. We’ve got Joey, Frank, Kayla, Renee, and Saraqael. That’s a little weird, right?” asked the party’s mage, Toby. “Pretty much everyone I’ve ever met who turned out to be super evil had a really weird long name like that and loved the church. Azazel, Netzach, Barachiel, Zadkiel, etc. All those guys ended up being evil dicks.”
“And guess what? Saraqael loves the church! He’s always hanging out there, doing weird shit none of us really know about,” Toby added. “I get that he’s upset about what happened to his family, considering they were slaughtered years ago by the rebel forces we’re aligned with, but that really seems like a him problem? I mean that was literally 10 years ago.”
At press time, Saraqael announced plans to turn into a giant evil dragon.
