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Hasan Minhaj Insists His Uncle Was Attacked at Nintendo

LOS ANGELES — Comedian Hasan Minhaj insisted today in a new hour-long comedy show entitled Nintendos and Nintendonts that his uncle, an employee of Nintendo, was attacked as a result of Hasan’s questioning of powerful people.

“And yeah, I like to criticize those in power, and that’s all well and good when it only comes back to me,” Minhaj explained, pausing for dramatic effect in front of a PowerPoint slide of a man being smacked over the head with a Nintendo GameCube. “But my uncle, man. He was just working at his job one day at Nintendo… and he told one of his co-workers that he showed me a picture of the upcoming blue Pikachu called ‘Pikablu’ and they attacked him for it! They beat this man within an inch of his life just because of his association with me. And I’m so thankful that he survived…. But to know, the fact that I’ve criticized Nintendo’s litigious nature on my television show and someone I love was hospitalized as a result…. It’s fucked up. But that’s America, right?”

“And at the hospital, leaning over my bloodied uncle, holding the very real Pikablu cards in my hands that he gave to me as inside information he learned as a Nintendo employee…” Minhaj continued, “my wife ran up to me and said ‘Hasan! You have to stop! You have to stop criticizing powerful people! You have a family to look after!’ But I looked into Pikablu’s eyes and I knew… I couldn’t just stop.”

Despite rave reviews for the special, some have criticized the story as untrue.

“We have no evidence of Hasan Minhaj’s uncle working at Nintendo at all, let alone any evidence of someone at the company being beaten nearly to death by a GameCube,” said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. “Also, I’m pretty sure he’s talking about the Pokémon Marill, which came out in the ’90s. There’s no such thing as Pikablu. I get that comedians often stretch the truth, but to show a picture of my face in the middle of a live comedy show with the text ‘monster’ written over my head was a bit much, if you ask me.”

As of press time, Minhaj admitted that the story was an exaggerated version of real events, and that there was still a very real “emotional truth” of what it was like imagining if a Pikachu could be blue.