Press "Enter" to skip to content

Rockstar Confirms GTA 6 Will Let Players Live the Maniacal Crime Sprees of Rockstar Executives

NEW YORK — Rockstar Games has confirmed they are working on Grand Theft Auto 6 and that the game will follow the life of a Rockstar executive.

“Grand Theft Auto games have always been about letting players live out the fantasy of being an insane criminal, facing few repercussions for their character’s violence, chaos, and depravity. That’s why we wanted to kick things up a notch for this new game and let players walk a mile in the shoes of an executive working at Rockstar,” the company explained in a blog post today. “From labor law violations to verbal abuse to sexual harassment, this game lets you do virtually anything to your employees that we did in real life, making it one of the most intense gaming experiences ever.”

Longtime fans of the series are tentatively excited about the new direction.

“A little on-the-nose even for these guys,” said one fan. “Couldn’t they have at least called it Blockstar Games or Popstar Games or something like that? That would have helped me feel a little better about what I was getting into.”

“It feels bad to know I’m doing this to, like, real people kind of,” said another. “In the old games, when I ripped an old lady out of her car, shot her in the head, and drove away, crashing my car in the water after falling off a bridge, I didn’t have to think about the real people who that probably happened to. I’m still gonna get the game, of course, but damn.”

“As an Australian, I like the GTA games because it gives me a sense of what it’s like to live in America,” said a third fan. “Violence in the streets was cool, sure, but it was played out. I’m so excited to live the quintessential American experience of bringing a gun to my workplace!”

As of press time, no Grand Theft Auto 6 developers were available to comment due to crunching on the game, but many asked to deliver messages to their families that they had not seen in months.

We\'re giving away 50 Hard Drive t-shirts and other merch items to Patrons this week.
Become a patron at Patreon!