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God Damn It: RPG Boss’s Arms And Legs Also Targetable

A DARK CAVE — During a long and drawn out boss fight that wasn’t yielding many results in the way of damage, a battle-weary RPG party quickly realized that the boss’ arms and legs were also targetable in addition to its head and main body.

“Oh my god, I just moved the cursor and it looks like we’re supposed to be hitting its arms and legs too,” said the plucky protagonist, gripping his sword in disbelief. “Instead of just wailing on its body with special moves, limit breaks, and triple attacks, now we have to focus on also taking out its appendages? And let me guess– they regenerate after a certain point and heal the main body too, don’t they? …Man, I can’t believe I broke my role as the silent protagonist for this.”

The stoic antagonist-turned-protagonist of the team chimed in with some thoughts on the revelation as well.

“…” said the stoic mage. “That’s ‘dot dot dot’, if anyone didn’t hear me. Heh– no matter. We’ll just keep killing that monster over and over. I won’t even need the princess’ healing magic or the ample amount of potions that restore a measly 20 HP either. And uh, nobody revive me if I fall in battle, either. You guys seem fully capable of finishing this if I can’t, so I’ll just… catch up with you all later.”

The boss in question, a large rock monster with an annoying fucking face, was maintaining firm control over the situation.

“LOL, I just love being fucking obnoxious, honestly”, said the boss, a floating torso with appendages that animated just enough to look like separate targets. “I’m surprised they didn’t pick up on it after I kept using my left leg to do a powerful sweeping kick to attack the whole team. It was so funny watching them heal over and over, scrambling around trying to figure out why I wasn’t dead yet. Sometimes I think I’m only like this because I didn’t get enough attention growing up, but for now, I’m gonna keep being unnecessarily aggro.”

At press time, the boss’s arms and legs were simultaneously defeated, allowing the RPG party to wail on its main body until it slowly dispersed in mid-air turning into a wealth of EXP points.