SAN FRANCISCO — After spending several centuries and every console generation with a sizable and loyal userbase, God has announced that the servers or popular MMO Heaven will go offline at the end of the month, sources have confirmed.
“Frankly I was hoping we could keep Heaven going forever,” said God, in an exclusive interview with IGN that was published this morning. “I know some of our more intense fans gave the whole game a bad name, but there were millions of good natured players that just wanted a place to gather online and grind out levels and hang out with like-minded folks. Sadly, when take the Cloud access away at the end of the month, a lot of players are going to have to figure out something else. A new religion, or at the very least a new game to play.”
Many long time Heaven users were disappointed to see their preferred MMO get taken down.
“You always know there’s a chance, but geez, I didn’t think Heaven would shut down one day,” said Don Sloane, who’d been enjoying Heaven ever since his sudden death in 1965. “If I’d known this would happen I would’ve just worshiped Satan and gotten really into World of Warcraft or something. I hear their players are allowed to curse! I’m confused, what am I supposed to do now, exactly?”
As of press time, a large number of former Heaven players were begrudgingly figuring out the controls for DOOM.
