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Gamer Wishes Real Life Was Less Open World

OKLAHOMA CITY — Local gamer Emilie Brockview reportedly told friends that, despite loving open world gameplay in video games, she desperately yearns for more structure in her real life.

“My favorite game of 2017 is, without a doubt, Breath of the Wild. I just love the fact that you can virtually do anything you want in that game. It’s so innovative the way it drops you off on an island with no objective and you just have to figure out what to do on your own,” Brockview told friends at a recent hang out. “It’s just like real life except without the crippling anxiety that comes with having no idea what you’re supposed to do.”

“I love open world games, but when applying for jobs, I wish there was a giant green arrow pointing me in the direction of where I’m supposed to go,” explained Brockview.

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According to those close to Brockview, her desires for her virtual experiences and her real life experiences are nearly opposites.

“Emily often complains to me that video games are too linear, which I find ironic, because she so clearly wants her day to day life to incorporate some invisible walls that stop her from ignoring the path she should be traveling,” Brockview’s therapist Dr. Martin Greenberg told reporters, blatantly violating doctor-patient confidentiality. “Sometimes we just want our lives to be a 2-dimensional side-scroller, where there’s only one direction to go and life blocks us from going too far back.”

“But it’s not, so enjoy randomly looking around your environment for the ‘quest’ objective for decades upon decades until you die,” he added.


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