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Game Would Be Absolutely Perfect if Only You Were a Furry

Well, it happened again. You were bored, looking at your Steam library of hundreds of games, and decided you needed to buy a new one. So you head to the Steam store and see what’s on sale. This game, Furrious Fighters, has overwhelmingly positive reviews and is on sale for five bucks. Perfect.

It’s almost immediate that you realize something is wrong. The first character who appears on screen is an anthropomorphized, very shredded, fox. This thing has a chest that’s wider than a mack truck, and you can just tell he’s packing a monster hog under his boxer shorts.

But you press on. The gameplay is incredible. A combination of roguelike and puzzle solving that scratches the perfect itch in your brain. If only you were a furry it would be a game of the year contender. This might be the best game you’ve played, but you’re probably not going to tell anyone about it.

You’re addicted to the game. You can’t stop playing it. Unless someone walks into the room, in which case you’ll immediately alt-tab and pretend you’ve never heard of yiffing in your life, even though there’s a yiff-meter that powers you up.

When you beat a level, the game provides you with an explicit picture of some of the other animalistic characters. It’s clearly intended to be a reward, but you can’t help but feel it’s God’s punishment for you abandoning Him.

Honestly though, that rabbit woman is pretty cute. You can deal with that. You liked Lola Bunny. Maybe you’re not so different from the target audience for this game after all?

Only a few more sessions will help you find out.

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