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‘Cult of the Lamb’ Required to Be Played as Onboarding for New Hot Topic Employees

CITY OF INDUSTRY, Calif. — As part of a new hiring initiative, Hot Topic has instructed all of its new employees to play the new indie game Cult of the Lamb from Devolver Digital and Massive Monster.

“This game has everything that Hot Topic is about, and that shoppers of our store would love,” explained Hot Topic CEO Steve Vranes. “There’s adorable animals, stark black-and-red colors, and a central theme about surrounding yourself with like-minded folks that will help you serve a great and evil god. As your character serves The One Who Waits Below in Cult of the Lamb, so do Hot Topic employees serve capitalism.”

“It’s a basic safety precaution,” Vranes added. “We assume if you’re going to work at Hot Topic that you play video games, but if not, it’s good to have at least some gaming experience under your belt. Especially if it’s about The Devil.”

Glen Hanks, HR Director for Hot Topic Northeast, is reportedly “psyched” about the cross-promotion between brands. 

“Like we actually say in our ads, working here is the shit. That’s literally on our website — go check,” Hanks said. “You have to deal with shit at your campsite in Cult of The Lamb, and while employees rarely deal with feces on store property, it’s still good to get a bit of training in that area Besides, there’s also something poetic about forcing all of our underlings to do something whether they want to or not.”

As of press time, not a single new hire has complained about this new practice since Cult of the Lamb is a fun title that blends together cute animation and grisly content with two great styles of gameplay, and is certainly in contention for many people’s Game of The Year list. Can you believe this is a sponsored article?

Yep, that’s right: this article is sponsored by Devolver Digital! Hot Topic may not really exist, but Cult of the Lamb absolutely does and it’s one of the best indie games of the year, so check it out on Steam, or else you’ll be missing out. You don’t wanna miss out, do you? All alone like that? Come on, man.

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