Press "Enter" to skip to content

Coworkers Don’t Believe Nintendo Employee Has Nephew in 5th Grade

REDMOND, Wash. — Workers at Nintendo of America are skeptical of their colleague Josh Underwood’s claim that his sister, Kathy, has an 11-year-old son.

“I don’t know why he feels the need to make stuff up like this,” said Senior Marketing Specialist Robin Brennan. “We all like him already. He’s a nice guy and a reliable coworker, but he’s only going to drive people away with these ridiculous stories. He’s always saying stuff like, ‘my nephew says there’s a new type of apple juice in his school’s cafeteria.’ No there’s not, dude. Shut up.”

Underwood, an IT associate, says that he doesn’t understand why his coworkers challenge him on what he contends to be mundane life details.

“I don’t see why they think it’s so unlikely that I would have a nephew,” said Underwood. “Fred from accounting is around my age and he’s got a daughter in middle school, but no one accuses him of lying. These guys never believe anything I say, like how they all rolled their eyes when I told them I met my wife on a trip to Vancouver.”

Human Resources Assistant Cal Spencer was eager to share his opinion on the story of how Underwood met his spouse.

“Oh, yeah, the ‘wife’ from ‘Canada,’” said Spencer, making mock quotation marks in the air with his fingers. “Like we haven’t heard that one a million times before. I wonder if she goes to the same dojo as Josh. He even claims to have a black belt in jiu jitsu, you know.”

At press time, Underwood was seen preparing for a weekend trip to see his sister’s family. Sources in his office indicated that he had packed a bag full of unreleased games including Metroid Prime 4, a fully-translated copy of Mother 3, and a special version of Super Smash Brothers Ultimate that has Master Chief in it.

We\'re giving away 50 Hard Drive t-shirts and other merch items to Patrons this week.
Become a patron at Patreon!