Hello fellow fans of not paying for games! I am desperately in need of your help. You see, I need to know exactly where you guys keep finding all these great Nintendo ROMs. I assure you, I only ask because I really want to make sure the hard working and handsome developers at Nintendo are getting jack shit for their hours of work. Especially whoever made that Mario fellow. Now, please just send me a categorized list of every site you’ve ever used to download Zelda or Pokémon for free, for I am also a cheap scumbag. I even want all the old NES games, despite being able to play a hand picked selection on my Nintendo Switch for only $19.99 a year. You can send me this list at [email protected]. I don’t want to miss a single one, so be sure to send in EVERY site you can think of!
If you want to REALLY make my day, it would be incredible if you could also let me know of any cool Super Mario 64 mods you’ve gotten. Like that one that adds Luigi back to the game, despite the developers never wanting you to play as that little green asshole. So, please send me the handles of all the developers out there who are currently working on something like that. I want to be able to send a personal thank you on being able to spit in the face of the team that made their childhood worth remembering.
Oh! And if you happen to have any tutorials on how to hack my Nintendo Switch, that would really come in handy. I want to completely destroy mine, putting it through something that is akin to warping one of God’s masterpieces into my own sick and twisted creations. I am gonna need specific names on who’s posting these tutorials though, just to make sure I’m using the right one.
Thanks for helping me take down Nintendo! I’m sure they’ll never find out about these great sites!
