COLAXOR OUTER RIM — An alien civilization known as Zuufar are reportedly getting really into the color purple right now, according to those familiar with the situation.
“Maybe it’s a phase, I dunno, but we’re straight up making everything purple right now. All our buildings, all our walls, all our weapons, all our armor. We’re decked out in purple shit like it’s no one’s business,” said Zuufar Grand Inquisitor Ghala’jo. “It goes really nicely, actually, because right before this, we all got suuuper into laser beams. We had laser beams freaking everywhere, just kinda shooting up or shooting horizontally. They didn’t do anything — unless you think looking absolutely dope as fuck is something. Which I do.”
According to those within the alien culture, the obsession with purple has lasted a few decades, but is nothing out of the ordinary for them.
“We go through phases just like any other culture. Sure we’re all in on purple right now, but is it so different from, for example, when Earthlings were all into big hair in the ’80s? Or when they got really into nu-metal in the 2000s? Or when they all got COVID in the 2020s? It’s like that,” said Zuufar designer Looiuut. “Maybe one day we’ll look back on this in 20 years — when we’re all in shiny metallic camouflage print or whatever — and cringe. But for now, it’s purple time, baby!”
At press time, designers admitted that the purple also looks really nice when splattered with all the blue blood from their bodies when human marines ultimately run through and shoot everyone for some reason.
