ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Jimmy Feldman has reportedly been practicing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for three hours every single day after work in preparation for when he will have to face off against his 11-year-old cousin Noah Bridges this holiday season.
According to those familiar with the situation, the match will very likely be set to items on high, five stocks, and will take place on popular stage Temple. Feldman has been keeping up with current Ultimate tier lists in order to narrow down on a character that has a shot against Noah’s brutal Kirby, who he chose because he’s “funny.”
“I’m not going to lose this year,” Feldman told reporters. “I’ve been watching hours of videos from streamers, I’ve been running through strings and techs in practice mode, and I’ve been discussing different Kirby match-up charts in the character discords. Every single year, Noah just picks Kirby, flies up to the top of the stage, and down-B’s me to death. I can’t let it happen to me in 2019. I just don’t have it in me this year.”
Those close to Feldman, however, say that his dedication to the game is affecting his everyday life.
“It would be one thing if he was actually good, but he’s got like 70,000 GSP on any given character,” said Feldman’s long term girlfriend Scarlett Casey. “So it’s just kinda sad to see him run through his life, losing track of showers and getting to work later and later, just to get his ass kicked on some all-items stage over Christmas. But we’ve all been there. I spent two years learning how to collect all the ‘SKATE’ letters in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 because my nephew thought I ‘sucked’ at the game in 1998.”
Reporters reached out to Bridges, who confirmed that he has a Nintendo Switch and would love to play with “Uncle Timmy” this year.
We’ve launched a brand new podcast network. Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
Photo by JD Lowe.