The Nintendo Switch turns six this year, and gamers are clamoring for information about the company’s follow-up, but Nintendo has remained predictably secretive about its next hardware. We’ve wrapped up what little confirmed information about the system is available below!
We’ll likely be sued just for speculating about it
Honestly, by the time you’re done with this engaging and hilarious piece of content, Nintendo’s probably gonna have my ass in the clink. It’s been real.
They’re only taking their time because they haven’t had two consecutive successful console launches since the ’90s.
That is what my Uncle told me
Luigi is holding out for more money, might pursue free agency
For the first time in years, Luigi and Nintendo have failed to come to terms on a new contract as the current one is set to expire. Heavily rumored favorites to land the coveted mascot include XBox, Monster Energy Drink, and The Olive Garden
Shigeru Miyamoto is making it himself, in his garage, like always
Nintendo is standing by and ready to mass produce the new console as soon as Miyamoto reveals his latest design. Sometimes this process takes months, sometimes years. Once, he took too much cold medicine and came up with the Virtual Boy
You will definitely be able to buy Super Mario World on it
Honestly, can’t wait!
Pokémon
Pokémon will be on there. Not bad, huh?
It MIGHT be in HD
While heavily rumored, it’s still far too early to say for sure on this one.
Will have the smallest physical games yet
Nintendo is continuing its baffling insistence on this trend, and believes it can get the size of the Switch successor’s cartridges down so far as to not be seen by the naked eye. Another classic Nintendo innovation!
