FREMONT, Calif. — Announcing a staggering leap forward in neurotechnology, Neuralink founder Elon Musk unveiled a new project attempting to implant a meme from 2013 directly into a primate’s brain.
“With every passing day, Neuralink is slowly becoming a reality, and by 2025 we will possess the capability to send a hilarious picture from 4chan directly into a chimp’s brain,” Musk said in a press conference. “This is unprecedented. Before, we would have to merely show rhesus monkey’s pictures of Doge Photoshopped onto a Twinkie or Rage Comics in tangible form, but analog memes are becoming a relic of the past.”
Neuralink CEO Jared Birchall said that the new project came at the behest of the company’s founder.
“Neuralink was remarkably close to creating a prototype with incredible applications like stimulating motor skills to cure certain disabilities in the brain or allowing hands-free technology usage, but Elon burst through the doors with a stack of printed-off 9GAG images and demanded we stop whatever we were doing,” Birchall said. “Now I spend my days combing through his personal collections of Troll Faces and XKCD comics trying to figure out which won’t instantaneously fry a patient’s cerebral cortex.”
Musk also went on to elaborate on the usefulness of the project’s limitless capabilities.
“Right now, people have to log onto Twitter to see all my amazing, original creations, but soon I will be able to beam them directly into everyone’s mind,” Musk said. “While the Twitter algorithm is already slanted to show you every single one of my passing thoughts, people are missing out on things like Pepe the Frog epicly trolling the woke left and my opinion on the Democrats over a picture of Dwight Schrute. Well, rest assured that millions in funding are being spent on making sure nobody misses one of my Reddit frontpage finds again.”
At press time, sources reported that Musk claimed the technology had unfortunately not advanced enough for him to also include credit to the meme creator in the neural transmission
