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Aunt Enters Heated Battle in Facebook Post Over Order of Operations

MUNCIE, Ind. — Local aunt Linda Benson reportedly took to the Facebook comment section to ruthlessly defend what she believed was the correct order of operations in a math question.

“The answer is 1, any fool knows that. Whoever doesn’t clearly went to public school. Sad!” Benson’s long, ranting post began. “That’s why I send my kids to private school. My niece Megan is turning twelve years old in May. If you would like to see photos of her, on my page are photos of her school play. She was Mr. Mushnik in Little Shop of Horrors Jr. So talented! Plus, she probably knows to do exponents before multiplication. She can do anything she puts her mind to! And she’s very beautiful, she must get that from her aunt. LOL!”

Another commenter, Andy Nicklesby, expressed how he was caught off guard by the aunt’s several unwarranted posts.

“I’m a math teacher, so I just dropped in to explain why the answer was 9, and showed my work. Fifteen minutes later I got a reply from a middle-aged woman I didn’t know lecturing me about vaccinating my kids,” Nicklesby said. “I didn’t reply, I know the internet is like that, but she started messaging me calling me a coward and saying that I should be fired from my job and deported. I’m white and American. Then she invoked Jesus, asking him to save me from my ignorance. To my knowledge, Jesus has yet to reply in the thread.”

The original poster of the Facebook brain teaser claimed he never meant for the conversation to get so heated.

“I just wanted some cheap, easy engagement, but now I have some random Aunt messaging me about the Gospel of Luke in my DMs every day,” said poster Bryan Reenus. “It was supposed to be a quick little post for some people to argue about math, but she derailed it so easily and effortlessly. Honestly, I’m just impressed. Her posts are some of the most uninhibited yet authentic Facebook content I’ve ever seen.”

At press time, sources reported that Linda Benson had just posted a comprehensive, 560-word rant about Jewish people under a sponsored post for Dunkin’ Donuts.

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