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Mom Enters Competitive ‘Thank You’ Card Game Tournament

GLENDALE, Ariz. — Local mother and competitive thank you card player Margery Walsh has officially entered the Glendale GratitudeFest Championship, tournament sources have confirmed.

“I remember being a little kid and thinking it was normal to have all these boxes of thank you cards stacked up in the basement,” said 17-year-old Alex, Walsh’s son. “I thought everyone’s mom bought more thank you cards than anyone could possibly use in a lifetime! How could I have understood that she was one of the top players in the entire state? It’s just one of those things that doesn’t occur to you when you’re five.”

Walsh was humble about her status in the community, saying that the game was just a pleasant way to pass the time.

“My favorite thing about it is that it lets me stay in touch with my friends,” said Walsh, who was prepping for the tournament by sorting her cards by color and font. “We get together at these tourneys and cons and just talk strategy, you know? I can really connect with these ladies in a way that no one else in my life would understand. That means more to me than trying to win. Of course, if Lorraine tries that weak-ass Shoebox deck again, I’m going to mop the floor with her. You can’t cheap out on this shit.” 

Dan, Walsh’s husband of twenty years, said that he supports his wife’s passion even if he doesn’t fully understand it.

“I try to stay out of her way,” said Dan. “We both have our own hobbies. She builds thank you decks; I speedrun the route to the airport. I actually just worked out a theoretical 37-minute run that skips Post Road entirely. It’s very starting-seed dependent, because you have to hit the lights on Broad Street perfectly, but it’s really just a matter of putting in the hours. I’m going to start testing it while Marge is at her card game this weekend.”

At press time, Walsh was seen taking a trip to Kohl’s to stock up for the tournament’s traditional group box break.