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Lego Guy’s Day Ruined After Stepping on Human Femur

LEGO WORLD — A cool LEGO guy who was just hanging out in his apartment earlier today had his day completely ruined when he stepped on a human femur bone that was on the ground for some reason. 

“Ahh! God damn! Why is there a man’s goddamned bone on the living room floor?” asked the LEGO man, to his LEGO children, who still had their sleeping faces on. “I told you not to play with that stuff inside of the house. Now I’ve busted off the end of my foot and I’m gonna have to glue it together before work. Just what I needed to start my day. Oh, why did I have LEGO children?” 

The LEGO man’s wife said this was merely the latest in a string of similar occurrences. 

“The kids are always leaving their stuff laying around,” she said. “Most of their toys are pretty harmless, but man, those human bones really sting when you step on them. We’d love it if the kids would rather just play with anything else, but nope, they really just like playing with the human bones. We even tried the off-brand ones and they can tell they’re not the same. I hate that my husband keeps hurting himself, but maybe he should be a little more careful, you know?” 

As of press time, the LEGO Guy had ordered a really cool set of human bones based on the characters from Star Wars marketed towards LEGO grown ups.