HARRISBURG, Penn. — Dungeon Master Stan Wixler is reportedly “way out of his element” after one of the player characters in his current campaign has decided to seek professional in-game counseling, sources confirmed.
“My role as a DM is to craft a world where literally anything can happen, and then to fade into that world and let my players explore it at their will,” said Wixler while perusing the DSM-5 for anything goblin related. “But there is no way I’m ready to help this character work through the emotional trauma of the goblin slaughter from three sessions ago. How would I even go about that? I don’t want to be too stringent about rules or anything but we’re supposed to just be having fun here. How is that gonna work when forty-five minutes of every session is devoted to amateur therapy?”
Party member Dana Getty was surprisingly supportive of her compatriots decision to seek help.
“We’ve been through a lot together. And Stan has been great at adjusting the campaign for us, and I just hope he can provide our stalwart companion with the help he really needs,” said Getty, rolling a persuasion check to request that another character in the town tavern pass his character a tissue. “And preferably before we leave on our next quest. I know how hard a DM’s job can be sometimes, but if he didn’t write anything about my orc barbarian’s childhood trauma into his notes, then what are we even doing here?”
At press time, Stefan had hit an emotional roadblock in his therapy when dealing with memories of his father, Horshak the Eviscerator.
