Montana: Snowbird
Snowbird can turn into any animal native to Northern Canada which means she can turn into a moose. This fills the people of Montana with an appropriate level of fear, respect, and admiration. She can also turn into a bear, but people from Montana are mostly hung up on the moose thing.
Nebraska: Quicksilver
Anyone who has traveled through Nebraska fantasizes about being able to travel through Nebraska faster. It’s no surprise that most Nebraskans are obsessed with Marvel’s most high-profile speedster.
Nevada: Domino
If anyone understands the true value of luck as a superpower it’s the residents of Nevada. They’ve seen enough depressed gambling addicts to know you shouldn’t step foot in a casino if you can’t manipulate probability in your favor.
New Hampshire: Captain Britain
Every single resident of New Hampshire answered Captain Britain then tried to take it back and say Captain America. When we didn’t believe them they all begged us not to tell the other New England States. Sorry New Hampshire, your secret is out.
New Jersey: Ms. Marvel
Ms. Marvel is proudly from Jersey City and New Jersey loves her for it. They’re still mad at Disney Plus for changing her powers though. Being a shapeshifter was thematically important Feige!
New Mexico: The Leader
It’s less that New Mexico loves The Leader and more that they fucking hate The Hulk. Bruce Banner tested a gamma bomb in the New Mexico desert and never took responsibility for the Downwinders he impacted or the towns he destroyed as Hulk. New Mexico cheers The Leader on out of spite.
New York: Spider-Man
New York’s favorite used to be The Thing before gentrification. I’m disappointed in you New York.
North Carolina: Cable
North Carolina loves this grizzled time traveler made of muscle, pouches, and guns. They wanted to make it clear they’re much cooler than South Carolina, who they assume picked someone lame like Cypher.
North Dakota: Wolverine (Logan)
As a border state, North Dakota appreciates a tough Canadian superhero like Wolverine. Only the guy version though. They think letting a woman take over as Wolverine was Marvel going woke. None of them have read a Marvel comic since.
Ohio: Silver Surfer
Ohio has more astronauts than any other state because they’re obsessed with space. They relate to Silver Surfers’ desire to escape Earth’s atmosphere. You’d be obsessed with getting into outer space too if your main point of reference for life on Earth was Ohio.
Oklahoma: Storm
Anyone with the power to end a drought is a home run in Oklahoma. Storm being a superhero didn’t even factor in.
Oregon: Howard the Duck
People in Oregon are too cool for superhero comics. Fortunately, Marvel has a snarky duck character for the hipsters and old hippies to enjoy. He gets bonus points for matching University of Oregon’s mascot.
Pennsylvania: Dr. Strange
These are the same dumb dumbs who believe an order of warlocks use a magic stick to ask a groundhog about the weather every year. They don’t just love Dr. Strange they think the Eye of Agamotto is real.
Rhode Island: Daredevil
Rhode Island is the nation’s most catholic state so it’s no surprise they’re big fans of Marvel’s number one catholic guy. They also think it’s cool he fights ninjas. Rhode Islanders love ninjas. I don’t have an explanation for that part.
South Carolina: Cypher
South Carolina loves interesting power sets like Cypher’s linguistic abilities. They wanted to make it clear they’re much more sophisticated than North Carolina, who they assume picked someone cringe like Cable.
South Dakota: Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
Wolverine has always been South Dakota’s favorite character but their favorite arc is when Laura Kinney took the mantle. They’re really bummed Marvel gave Logan back the codename and had Laura go back to being X-23. None of them have read a Marvel comic since.
Tennessee: Dazzler
Dazzler has recorded multiple albums in Nashville. Tennessee gets really happy when a big musician who’s not in country music does that. They’re just as tired of the Nashville pop country scene as the rest of us.
Texas: The Punisher
Most Texans have never picked a comic book up in their life but they sure do like Punisher’s logo. It’s because he has guns.
Utah: Patsy Walker
Superhero comics have been outlawed in Utah since Seduction of the Innocent was published so they mostly just read Golden Age teen books in Utah. Readers of superhero comics will know Patsy as Hellcat, but in Utah, she’s still just an Archie-style plucky teen.
Vermont: Magneto
Vermont loves old Jewish guys who give passionate monologues. They really wish Bernie Sanders would start wearing a cape.
Virginia: Captain America
Most Virginians picked George Washington as their favorite Marvel character even when we told them he doesn’t count. Eventually, we gave up and put Captain America down. That seems close enough.
Washington: Namor
They think it’s hilarious every time Namor floods the East Coast.
West Virginia: Squirrel Girl
Squirrel Girl overwhelmingly won the popular vote in West Virginia. Maybe we should have put it in the rules that squirrels aren’t allowed to vote, but we didn’t. They got us on the Air Bud loophole.
Wisconsin: Hellcow
Some states defy the stereotypes that define them. Not Wisconsin.
Wyoming: Multiple Man
Wyomingites are amazed by large groups of people, so one guy who can turn into a group is amazing. I mean how many dupes can he make? Ten? That’s more people than the entire town of Lost Springs.
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