New Mexico: Trevor (Grand Theft Auto V)
While the character comes off pretty extreme in most parts of the country, this is just what every third guy is like out in New Mexico.
New York: Mega Man
The state that’s provided us with the most serial killers loves Mega Man, particularly the way he adapts a part of his victims’ personalities after he’s slain them. Damn, I never even thought about it like that. Buncha sickos, all of ya.
North Carolina: Spyro the Dragon
The people of North Carolina have convinced themselves that Spyro the Dragon is real, and a large number of them spend their time trying to hunt the adorable dragon. Kind of weird, but ultimately they’re not hurting anybody. Except Spyro the Dragon, if they find him.
North Dakota: Samus Aran (Metroid)
We asked the guy that lives in North Dakota, and he said Samus!
Ohio: Pac-Man
There’s nothing wrong with Pac-Man, but those poor bastards in Ohio don’t even have SNES yet. Can you believe that?
Oklahoma: The Football (NCAA Football 14)
They’re just really love college football out there, man.
Oregon: Leisure Suit Larry
Oregon likes to puff its chest out like it’s all cultured and sophisticated, but behind closed doors they laugh at the jokes about butts and whacking off as much as anyone else. More, really, if our data is any indication. Get over yourselves, guys.
Pennsylvania: Waluigi
What kind of sick and twisted freaks would pick Waluigi as their favorite character? Shame on you, Pennsylvania. That’s not even funny or anything.
Rhode Island: Peter Griffin (Family Guy Video Game!)
This shouldn’t count, but whatever. That game wasn’t very good, they’re just so, so happy to have something take place on Rhode Island I think.
South Carolina: Wario
I’ve been informed that this is exclusively for the version of Wario that golfs. What a sick place South Carolina must be.
South Dakota: Hulk Hogan (WWF games from the ‘90s)
Hulkamania is somehow still running wild in South Dakota, it appears.
Tennessee: Tifa (Final Fantasy VII)
People from Tennessee love to say “Is Tifa from Final Fantasy VII from Tennessee? Because she’s the only 10 I see!” It’s very very odd, but it’s a huge industry over there. I’m talking tee shirts, bumper stickers, billboards, etc. You can’t go 10 minutes in this state without seeing that phrase plastered all over something. Frankly, I think it’s gross.
Texas: Pikachu (Pokémon)
Pikachu is adorable and a longtime fan favorite, so it’s not bizarre to see him as any state’s favorite video game character. We think his infinite source of electricity makes him particularly appealing to Texans, however.
Utah: John Stockton (NBA Jam)
The phenomenal duo of Karl Malone and John Stockton as portrayed in the 1993 arcade hit NBA Jam remains the cultural high point of Utah’s existence. Great pick, Utah.
Vermont: Luigi
Vermont is very comfortable with its underwhelming status and is happy just to be included in things like New England even though they’re not bringing a lot to the table. No wonder they like Luigi.
Virginia: Hookers (Grand Theft Auto)
Virginia is for lovers, which is why the whole state is constantly in Hot Coffee mode.
Washington: Gunbrella
It’s not out yet, but the gamers of the Pacific Northwest are already awaiting the first ever game starring some sort of an umbrella with great enthusiasm.
West Virginia: Agent 47 (Hitman)
Holy shit, West Virginia. Are you good?
Wisconsin: Master Chief (Halo)
Not only is he the star of some of the most popular games of all time, but Wisconsinites dig Master Chief because he’s dressed for a typical winter day in Green Bay.
Wyoming: Q*Bert
Q*Bert climbs a giant mountain over and over. They eat that shit up in Wyoming.
