If you’ve been playing Tears of the Kingdom for 300 hours and lost all your friends and family as a result, you may be wondering: could I wear any of the armor sets to a wedding that I just got disinvited from? We have exactly the same question, and even threw in a few of the single clothing pieces for you to choose from as well. Here’s every piece of armor in Tears of the Kingdom ranked by wedding attire appropriateness.
#37 — Mystic Set
Absolutely not. The number 1 rule of wedding attire is NO WHITE. This will get you shanked by the maid of honor.
#36 — Ancient Hero’s Aspect
Jesus fucking jumpscare. Leave your expensive and creepy fursuit at home! (Unless it’s a furry wedding, in which case, it may be appropriate, but ask to make sure).
#35 — Frostbite Set
While the internet is obsessed with this set because it’s bizarrely slutty, I’m going to say it’s a bad idea to wear a goddamn tiara and a backless dress to someone else’s wedding.
#34 — Phantom Set
Nope. Too GWAR. Looks like a cosplay made out of foam. Now, I’m sure there’s an instance in which someone is having a GWAR wedding, but I honestly think this would get super hot while you’re dancing anyway.
#33 — Radiant Set
Another hard no, this one is gimp suit-adjacent. However, if you run in much cooler and/or cringe circles than me, maybe this is the dress code for a sex dungeon wedding ordeal.
#32 — Rubber Set
Pass, unless the couple in question is really into both latex and fishing. This also just looks like a sensory nightmare for me in terms of comfort and being able to like, eat food.
#31 — Evil Spirit Set
No again. While the cape has a certain “magician convention” allure, I feel like the full-face bone mask is a touch too much, even for a very spooky affair. You might get some mileage out of this look for a black metal album cover, though.
#30 — Tingle Set
You know those videos on YouTube where sex educators try really hard not to get demonetized, so they like, put on a hoodie really tight around their head and try to make it look vaguely representative of a vulva? Their face is the clit. If you wear this, you’re going to a wedding as a clit analog in essentially a morph suit.
#29 — Awakening Set
Unfortunately, this set has a kind of dead-eyed Funko Pop energy that I just can’t really get behind for a festive occasion. You’ll also probably have a hell of a time seeing literally anything with that giant head on.
#28 — Armor of the Depths Set
Gonna be a no. Very ancient monk, which isn’t inherently bad, but not really in style in 2023. Also, the hood could be read…poorly.
#27 — Barbarian Set
Pros: looks sick as shit, goths might like the bone stuff. Cons: the aforementioned bone stuff. And if you’re anywhere that has even a few months of cold weather, this is extremely seasonally restricted.
#26 — Froggy Set
Unless the wedding is literally underwater, don’t bother with this one. Who knows, though, the hottest destination wedding of 2024 could be at the bottom of the fucking ocean.
#25 — Yiga Set
The weirder cousin of the extremely dope Stealth Set that sadly doesn’t fit the bill. It’s kind of giving discount ninja. Like your mom took you to Party City and told you to make a mask for Halloween, but she just bought a plain white one and you had to do all the heavy lifting yourself.
#24 — Zonaite Set
There’s a little too much going on in this set to justify it, and uh, not much of a shirt to speak of. Most venues probably have a no shirt/no shoes/no service policy anyway.
#23 — Zora Set
Eh, not awful without the hat, but the whole thing leans too fishy to be worth the risk of ruining your friendships.
#22 — Dark Set
Number 1 choice for a Halloween wedding. Weird for anything else. But I cannot stress how sick this would be at a midnight ceremony.
#21 — Miner Set
There is exactly one situation win which you can wear this to a wedding: it’s located in the forests of Canada right the fuck now and you need the gas mask thing to breathe.
#20 — Armor of the Wild
Quite peasant-y and rather casual for my taste, to the point where you’ll look a little like a Medieval Times extra who got lost. But it could be worse.
#19 — Flamebreaker Set
While no one would be mad at you for wearing something wildly inappropriate, you’re certainly not going to be comfortable, and you’ll make a lot of weird clanging noises while trying to do the Cha-Cha Slide.
#18 — Fierce Deity Set
Honestly, this isn’t a terrible choice. A little freaky with the blank eyes, sure, but the tunic and leggings combo could work for a more informal setting. And the makeup gets points for creativity!
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