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“I Never Said That,” Our Interview With Masahiro Sakurai

We sat down with game developer, YouTuber, and creator of Kirby and Super Smash Bros. Masahiro Sakurai to discuss his impact on the gaming industry and to defend bold statements he may or may not have made.

How do you feel about your likeness being used on the internet in ‘memes’?

“It makes me considerably uncomfortable to see my face next to things that I did not say.”

‘Never ask me for anything ever again’ is such an iconic statement and quite a brave one for a game developer to come out and say publicly. What inspired that specifically?

“I never said that.”

Is Kirby nice?

“I wouldn’t know. He isn’t real. Or at least he stopped answering my calls 6 years ago. Maybe he was never real.”

What made you want to start a YouTube channel?

“I don’t trust anyone but myself to make video games correctly. I hope that my channel can impart some wisdom on the next generation of people with my exact background and tastes.”

If Nintendo called you and asked you to direct the next Super Smash Bros. game right now, what would you do?

“I’d punch a hole in my wall and then agree to the proposal. Nobody else could do it properly besides me.”

Who are some of your favorite YouTubers?

“None. I detest the platform. I use it purely out of necessity because, again, no one else could do the job correctly besides me.”

Is Metaknight cool in real life?

“Yes, he is fucking awesome.”

Do you feel that you have made an overall positive impact on the gaming industry at large?

“I suppose so. But only because I had to do 17 jobs at once because it’s just easier than training new employees or communicating things to others.”

Why are you so insistent on taking on so many roles during game development?

“Have you ever gone online and seen how demanding some of these fans are? If I don’t give them what they want, exactly how they want it, I fear for the safety of both me and my family. As a result, it simply must be done, I suppose.”

Who was the hardest character to get the rights to for development of Super Smash Bros.?

“Mario. Nintendo is very protective of him. As a matter of fact, I’ve received DMCA strikes for every single first-party character included. The first time I didn’t get one was when I added Snake to Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Kojima practically begged me to add him.”

Why did you put so much emphasis on touch screen controls in Kid Icarus: Uprising?

“So that people who play my games and insist upon so much from me can feel at least a fraction of the bone crushing wrist pain that I experience every day during game development.”

Which Super Smash Bros. character do you relate to the most?

“Hmm, let’s see… none of them.”

All right then, well, which colored block from your smash-hit puzzle game Meteos do you relate to the most?

“The blue one!”

What is King Dedede’s favorite food?

“Can we please talk about menu design or something?”

Sure, fine. What’s up with all those wacky Simon Says-looking menus in your games?

“My wife Michiko works on the graphical interfaces for my games. She gets a little freaky with it sometimes, but I like it like that. She is inspired by the works of Pablo Picasso, mostly.”

Can you share your skincare techniques with our audience? A lot of people have remarked that you’re seemingly ageless.

“Yes– I work 90 hours a week, smoke 12 cigarettes a day, and make sure to only sleep for two hours a night. Hope that helps.”

What are your thoughts on Waluigi?

“He is a nasty pervert man who gets off on disappointing fans’ expectations. I guess you could say I assist him in that regard, and that’s all I’m at liberty to say on that topic.”

Can you at least tell us a little bit about your cat?

“Yes! Her name is Fukurashi and she means the absolute world to me, even more than video games. I would die for her, as it were.”

Is Geno going to be in the new Super Smash Bros. from day one, or will he be DLC?

“Geno is never going to be in the game, you freaks. I’m tired of being contacted about this. Never ask me for anything ever again.”

Hey, you just said it!

“That’s it, I’m outta here.”