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Everything We Know So Far About What Happens After You Die

One of the great mysteries of life is what happens after it ends. Many of the world’s greatest philosophers and thinkers have dedicated their entire careers to pondering this very question. And thanks to their great efforts, we now know quite a lot about what happens after you die! 

You’ll experience irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brain stem, as well as irreversible cessation of circulatory and respiratory functions

Once you’re at this point, you’re pretty much a goner. 

You get to challenge Grim Reaper to a game, and if you beat him, you get more time

This is why most StarCraft players live forever. The Reaper just doesn’t have the APM to keep up with an early game Zerg rush. 

Your skeleton is freed

Inside everyone is a skeleton just waiting to escape its flesh prison. Most skeletons spend their new found freedom napping, but some get really into interpretive dance. 

You get to meet Steve

Everyone looks forward to meeting Steve, but remember, you only get one shot at this, so don’t screw it up. 

Everyone will miss you, and they’ll all regret not being nicer to you while you were here

That’ll show ‘em. 

You’ll go to heaven  

If God thinks you have good vibes

Your boss will have to find someone to cover your shifts

If at all possible, you should reach out to your coworkers before you die, and see if anyone is available to cover for you. This will help ease the transitionary period for your team, proving that you’re a team player, and management material.

Your mom will be sad

Recent studies have shown that 4 out of 5 mothers don’t like outliving their children. 

Worm Friends

Worms love dead people, and they’re looking forward to meeting you too.