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Everything We Know About the New Coke for Gamers

Holy shit, gamers, there’s finally a drink that’s just for you! Coca Cola has teamed up with League of Legends to create a soda that’s just for gamers, and here’s everything we know about it.

They are filled with Jim Ryan’s piss

Don’t worry, there’s also a Zero Sugar version

It just won the Game Award for “sexiest beverage”

Ending water’s 20 year reign, we have a new king of drinks!

It’s “Code Red” at the Mtn Dew factories

Mtn Dew is doing everything in their power to make even more soda for gamers

Instead of names along the side, they have racial slurs

This is really fucked up, but you have to commend Coca Cola’s commitment to making a true gamer beverage

Double XP weekends have never been easier

You can buy two cans at once and legally no one can stop you (if you can prove you’re a gamer)

Dark Souls

Have you ever played the game Dark Souls? It’s really hard, which means it’s good

You can level up by drinking it

With enough cans of Coke consumed, soon your Type 1 Diabetes can level up to Type 2

It’s very healthy to drink

For legal reasons, we have to specify that we mean it will be healthy for society once all the gamers die out

Drinking it will NOT make you a gamer

Only hard work, dedication, and a hatred for anyone who doesn’t look exactly like you can do that.

It will have no impact on the release date of Silksong

Sorry