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Every Evangelion Angel Ranked by How Caring a Boyfriend They’d Be

Look, we’ve all dedicated hours of drawing lessons to perfect fan art of Shinji and Kowaru together as the perfect couple. But of all the angels, is Kowaru the best dating option? Let’s look at who the options are for which Angel would be the best boyfriend material.

#17 — Bardiel 

Bardiel will manipulates the hell out of anyone they encounter. They will make you lose contact with all your friends because they have “toxic energy” or some shit. By the end you’ll be questioning all the decisions that led you to being with them.

#16 — Arael

Arael thinks negging is a pick up skill. Will bring up sensitive issues from your past without any care. Wears a “triggered much?” t-shirt over their celestial body. 

#15 — Iruel 

Doesn’t have a body but still somehow really needs a shower. Uses your computer for sketchy websites. Thinks they’re smarter than you despite that you’re both living at your parents house.

#14 — Adam

You constantly try to meet up with him but have no clue where he is and is annoying to get a hold of. They’ll text you days later and say “hey sorry just saw this” then not respond for another few days. Spends time with Gendo so has annoying friends.

#13 — Matarael

Cries to get what they want. Total loser.

#12 — Leliel

Will take you to some great art events around the city. You’ll be amazed by this at first but as time goes will drag you into his problems and make them yours.  Waaay too into their own looks. How everyone perceives them is everything.

#11 — Sahaquiel

Will smother you with attention and be in denial when told it’s too much.  Let me tell you from experience: you don’t wanna date a guy whose just two weird big hands and an eye.

#10 — Sandalphon

You met Sandalphon when he was a baby. Do you really want to date a baby? Sure he grows up, but it doesn’t matter because first impressions are everything.

#9 — Ramiel

Ramiel is only interested in sex. Not even interested in foreplay or anything kinky. Rebuild version is kinkier but when it comes to the original Ramiel is just into plain ol’ missionary drilling. Either way doesn’t care about any meaningful connections.

#8 — Shamshel

Tries to be a good lover but is just awkward around you. Doesn’t know what to do with their hands so they just flail everywhere.

#7 — Lilith

Everyone tries to hook up with Lilith so you have to work extra hard to get their attention. But if that’s the case, they will always be thinking about their other options in the back of their mind.

#6 — Sachiel

Sachiel seems special because he’s the first angel you ever met, but in hindsight is the most basic, bland type of boyfriend you could possibly meet. Probably tried to impress you with a Sublime song.

#5 — Gaghiel

A pool boy. Summer fling at best. Likes to wrestle. Your not serious about him, he’s not serious about you, just let things happen and move on. 

#4 — Tabris

Tabris is very caring. He will make you feel like the most important one in the room.  Sometimes however, it feels like he’s only saying what you want to hear. People might be upset about this ranking, but it’s a little too weird that he never disagreed with you once, ya know? 

#3 — Israfel 

He is all about synchronicity. Communication is everything for this guy. He also prefers seeing multiple partners at once and will make you have to have dinner with the other members of the open relationship. They are respectful to everyone, but it can be very exhausting.

#2 — Armisael

Really is all about trying to know the real you. Knows how to talk to you like no one else does. Is all about sharing their feelings. 

#1 — Zeruel

Just look at those arms. This is someone who likes to hug, likes to cuddle. Plus the broad shoulders that ooze confidence. This is one angel who lives their own life but will be there for yours. Makes you feel free of any constraints holding you back.

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