ALPENA, Mich. — A recent game of a Simpsons themed version of the classic board game Monopoly only proved to be fun for the first ten or eleven turns, decreasingly amused sources have reported.
“When we started, I’d never had more fun playing a board game before,” said Ethan Hunter, who participates in his family’s game night every Sunday evening. “It’s got all the staples of a classic board game, yet it subverts the entire medium by critiquing the core tenets of American life all the while being incredibly silly. If we’re being honest though, the game really lost its steam about an hour in and I don’t even think anyone’s trying anymore.”
The variation of the popular board game was recommended by the father of the family, Jacob Hunter, who had fond memories of playing it in his youth.
“Oh yeah, when I was a ‘90s kid there was nothing as good as Simpsons Monopoly,” he said. “Once you get through that clunky first turn, holy shit. Best gaming experience ever. Even though it always goes to complete shit by the end, I still rank Simpsons Monopoly as my favorite board game. Even ahead of Seinfeld Scene it and Cheers Clue.”
Younger members of the family without decades of nostalgia entering into their evaluation were less receptive to the game.
“Don’t listen to that shit about 10 or 11 turns,” said Evelyn Hunter, the youngest of the family. “Four was really the last good one. Everything after that was just us going in circles, trying to bottle the lightning from the first few laps around the board. I mean seriously, what’s the point of switching the identity of the ‘Go To Jail,’ guy? I’m afraid Monopoly is just another once vital cultural relic who’s insistence on milking as much money out of it as possible ended up dulling its legacy.”
The session of Simpsons Monopoly is reportedly still underway and doesn’t appear to be ending anytime soon. As of press time, the ‘Homer Gets A New Job,’ Chance card had been drawn for the 47th time.
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Photo via Francis Bijl