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REPORT: Cicadas Tired Of Going Uncredited In Anime Soundtracks

TOKYO — After numerous anime productions have utilized their auditory likeness over the years, millions of Japanese cicadas are protesting several different animation studios due to their lack of credit in various anime soundtracks, sources have confirmed. 

“It honestly makes me sick,” stated one cicada from the abura zemi subspecies. “We’re pivotal foley artists who make up a good portion of the soundtracks to so many iconic anime series. My family and I didn’t see a dime from Evangelion, and that’s why we’re going on strike, or possibly dying in four to six weeks.”

Hideaki Anno, the creator of works such as Neon Genesis Evangelion and Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water, offered some professional insight into the situation.

“The cicadas are completely right,” said Anno. “It wouldn’t be a Japanese summer without hearing them chirping somewhere off in the distance. And we wouldn’t be able to convey that nostalgic atmosphere in anime without recording their vibrating sounds and implementing them into our soundtracks. It also helps for when a shot lingers too long but you don’t want it to look like you’re stalling for time– the cicadas convey an atmosphere of despair and loneliness or whatever my shit is about.”

Large swaths of cicadas have reportedly banded together to unionize against any further aggression.

“One time I was sittin’ there, mindin’ my own business, chirpin’ away, when some guy with a field recorder starts gettin’ a little too close,” said a cicada from the min-min zemi subspecies. “Imagine my fuckin’ surprise when I heard my exact chirp during an episode of Jujutsu Kaisen. Us cicadas have been inspired by what’s goin’ on over in Hollywood and have unionized. We’re currently on strike until we get paid a living wage to be loud, annoying, and disgusting.”

At press time, the cicada strikes are predicted to go on for another 17 years or whenever the next batch of insects are expected to emerge from underground.