CHICAGO — A local cinema fan made waves yesterday when he publicly asked if he needs to see season 2 of Twin Peaks in order to not understand season 3.
“I don’t want to be utterly confused in the wrong way,” said cinema and coffee fan Dwight Kalpakis. “I heard that season 2 drops off in quality, and actually becomes comprehensible at some points, so I kind of want to skip it. But if I skip season 2, will I be able to not know what’s happening in season 3? I just Google every episode afterward anyway and have someone way smarter than me spoon feed me an explanation. I guess I can skip to season 3 and still have things not make sense.”
Fans of Twin Peaks were largely critical of Kalpakis’s choice to skip to season 3.
“If you don’t watch season 2, don’t be surprised when you’re not befuddled in season 3,” said Twin Peaks message board moderator Eunice Turwood. “There’s a ton of scenes of The Log Lady saying incomprehensible nonsense in season 2 that pay off with even less understandable babble in season 3. The show was meant to be watched in order. Maybe. It honestly might have been made to watch backward, I don’t really know what’s going on since I haven’t seen Fire Walk With Me yet.”
Not all Twin Peaks authorities were so upset with the viewer’s choice.
“I always intended people to not watch the show at all,” yelled director David Lynch, even though we were right there. “When I was conceiving of the show in the late 80s, I just wanted people to gather around the water cooler and hear the weirdest guy in the office recap the show. This guy skipping the second season has the right idea. Sure he misses out on Heather Graham being all foxy, that’s the only reason I even stuck around for season 2. I tried to make The Return equally accessible to fans and newcomers, which is why it’s completely unintelligible for everyone.”
At press time David Lynch announced plans for a season 4, which would take the form of a warm vapor.
