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Kendrick Lamar Completes Perfect No Hit Run Against Drake

LOS ANGELES —Kendrick Lamar made history last night as he successfully completed his perfect no-hit run against Drake while millions of viewers cheered him on.

The 37-year-old took down his opponent with such efficiency that Soulsborne experts are calling it the greatest victory in history. 

“There’s no other way to put it, Kendrick made Drake seem like a basic enemy you use to show off your build,” said Souls Content Creator ‘Maidenless’ Mike Schwartz. “For a lot of people, Drake would pose a tough challenge but Kendrick dog-walked him. The crowd last night was behind him for a reason, whenever anyone can just destroy a boss like it’s not even a challenge it’s a special occasion in the community and a lot of people really dislike Drake so this was extra special.”

Souls Speedrunner Jackson ‘SunBro’ O’Hara broke down Lamar’s run, calling it the most efficient he’s ever seen.

“It really was a thing a beauty. A lot of no-hit runs end because the pressure mounts but he didn’t even break a sweat. Kendrick just came at him with non-stop big hits like ‘Euphoria’, ‘Not Like Us’, and ‘Meet the Grahams’. It was one after another, just wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, Drake could barely even start his attack animations, and when he did none of them hit. It was pure evisceration. By the end of the run last night Kendrick was just toying with him for fun. He even called in a Dr. Dre summon not to use but just to rub it in that he could.”

O’Hara further explained how Kendrick’s emotions helped his run.

“You could tell that Kendrick just held such contempt. Most Soulsborne runs of this kind are done based on courage or hubris but Kendrick really went on this run out of pure hatred and malice and it seems that’s the secret because it was the greatest run of all time. He beat Drake so badly that they might patch him out of the game completely, I mean they might as well, no one will ever take him seriously again.”

At press time, the director of the Soulsborne games Hidetaka Miyazaki has announced he will immortalize Kendrick in the games as Divine Hater Lord Lamar

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