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Garth Ennis Disavows The Boys TV Show for Being Well Written, Coherent

GLASGOW – Controversy in the comic book world today as writer of The Boys comic, Garth Ennis, disavowed the television adaptation for being well written and coherent.

“They’ve abandoned my original vision of a horrid edgefest,” explained the very badass and subversive writer. “I write dialogue like a twelve-year-old who just learned the F-word. Sure they curse a lot, but they aren’t using it as a crutch, like me. Also, where’s all the rape? There’s literally no way to indicate that someone is a villain, or even a morally ambiguous hero, without having them commit heinous sexual assaults. Instead they’re obsessed with writing ‘characters’ who have ‘motivations’. That’s not what The Boys is about. The Boys is about vapid, surface level parodies of superheroes that make you feel terrible and empty for having read about them.”

The creator of The Boys television adaptation was distressed to hear the original author’s criticisms.

“I thought my show was plenty edgy,” said great planner of only five seasons Eric Kripke. “We had a guy go into another guy’s dick and jerk him off from the inside, but apparently that’s not good enough. I guess in the next season we’ll have to have scenes of Homelander snorting drugs mixed with Queen Maeve’s vaginal mucus, or Hughie masturbating into a soup that Kimiko then eats. Billy Butcher is going to be wearing a cock ring the entire season so he’s always ready to commit morally gray sexual assaults.”

Ennis is one of many victims of adaptations not following the original author’s intent.

“Many authors will find adaptations not nearly as edgy or transphobic as they had intended,” related literature professor Tom Oleman. “I remember that the Ender’s Game adaptation featured very little Mormon propaganda. There was some, but not enough. It’s very difficult for these authors when they see the products that they worked hard on get substantially improved by better writers.”

At press time, Garth Ennis was trying to sell an adaptation of Crossed, but even more poorly written.

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