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Conservatives Call Bullshit on ‘Spider-Verse’ Fan Theory Claiming Miles Morales Is Black

LOS ANGELES — Conservatives nationwide are rolling their collective eyes at a new fan theory that Miles Morales from Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is black.

To support the theory, eagle-eyed fans have noticed subtle allusions to the fact that the character may be black, including decorations in his bedroom, his clothing, and the color of the background during certain scenes he is in.

According to one Twitter user, Kelly Markham, who referred to Miles as “a black man” in a viral post, the theory just makes sense. “What?” she said when asked to comment. “It’s not a theory… he just is black. Like if you look at him.”

Despite the theory’s growing prevalence online, however, many right-leaning fans have dismissed it as bogus.

“I’m sorry, but this is just the left forcing more of their woke bullshit down our throats. Miles Morales is a white man,” said conservative comic book YouTube critic CaptainMerica99. “Let me ask you this: if Miles is black, then why is his dad a cop? Hm? You don’t have to force every single goddamn character to fit into your lies to promote your sick political agenda. The truth is, just like in the real world, 95% of fictional characters are simply normal: white men.”

“If anything, it would be nice if the movie discussed some real political issues,” he added. “Like the dwindling of the white race, which is nearly extinct. But the woke mind virus in Hollywood would never allow for that!”

And yet, many fans of the film are to push for the theory to be accepted as canon — similarly refusing to accept opposing arguments.

“I don’t understand what you’re asking. Miles is, like, visibly black,” Markham insisted. “And he’s half Puerto-Rican, which he refers to in the movie. He speaks Spanish in it! It’s like a major theme of the movies that he feels like an outsider. It’s not a theory!”

The creators of the film have not been asked to comment, of course, because they would never reveal the answer to minor fan squabbling, so we may never know the truth of Miles’ race. But perhaps that’s the real point — to make us think and theorize — and to make us consider art in new lights. Not to mention, buy a few more tickets to carefully inspect the film!

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