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Comic Book Fan Marvels at Idea of Seeing Batman on the Big Screen

NEW YORK — The promise of a future Batman film has local comic book fan Mathew Pitt marveling at the idea of seeing the caped crusader on the big screen, according to those familiar with the situation.

“Wow, to imagine seeing Batman in a movie. Sitting down in the theater, the aroma of buttered popcorn in the air, surrounded by fellow buzzing comic book fans… just the idea of it excites me! That’s how we know nerds have finally arrived,” Pitt said, fantasizing about seeing Bruce Wayne, and his alter-ego Batman — the crime-fighting billionaire — in a movie theater. “When I saw the news that they’re finally making a Batman movie, it just filled me with joy and excitement. What will it be like? I hope Batman’s famous arch-enemy The Joker is in it. Wow, a Batman movie! What an exciting time to be alive.”

Despite Pitt’s enthusiasm for the upcoming film, others are less excited.

“I truly do not get it. There’s been like fifty Batman movies. Why is he like this?” asked Pitt’s sister Tori Wright. “Every single time they announce a new Batman movie, he gets all excited for it and acts like it’s the first time there’s ever been a ‘win’ for nerds like him. Then he gets way too overhyped, goes to see the movie opening night, and hates it. Then he complains about how they ruined his favorite character, they got everything all wrong, etc. for like a full year until they announce, what inevitably always comes, the next Batman movie. Its so fucking annoying.”

Those working on the upcoming Batman film matched Pitt’s emotions, however.

“It’s such an honor to get to don the cowl. I just hope I get the character right, especially knowing that all these fans are counting on me. Now that they’re finally letting someone play Batman on the big screen, I have just one shot to get it right,” said Bruce Wayne actor Robert Pattinson, who already portrayed the character in the film The Batman in 2022. “Batman is such an interesting character, really. I know a lot of people see him as just some nerdy thing, but he actually has a lot of depth. Because he’s really messed up — he’s rich, of course, but actually his parents died too. So he’s very sad. I think he’s a character who is really going to resonate with a lot of people, even more casual moviegoers.”

At press time, despite filming being completed, Warner Bros decided to shelve the film indefinitely after realizing it included a reference to Batgirl that couldn’t be edited around.

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