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AMPTP Reopens WGA Negotiations With New AI-Generated Offer

LOS ANGELES — The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers attempted to reopen negotiations with the Writers Guild of America today, sending the union a new offer that many believe was created using AI technology, according to those familiar with the situation.

The counter-offer included proposals like “the AMPTP offers better working conditions for writers, including work-life balance, workplace safety, and working conditions that are better.”

“It was so vague and unrelated to the issues at hand, we just have to assume that it was written by AI. But it’s also incredibly difficult to say for sure considering that none of these people are especially great writers in the first place,” said a representative from the WGA. “It’s also confusing because the interests of the AMPTP are generally aligned with the interests of Chat-GPT, so we can’t even go off of the one proposal which simply said that AI is ‘really cool.’”

“That being said,” they added, “the smoking gun came at the final proposal, which asked if we wished to ‘generate another response.’”

Despite the allegations, the AMPTP has sworn that the proposals were all written by human executives.

“It is a grave insult to suggest that the AMPTP would use AI to write our counter-offer for the WGA, which we have been hard at work for the last three months generating, even if we all agree that AI would do an excellent job, had we chosen to use it for this purpose,” AMPTP president Carol Lombardini said. “The AMPTP is extremely committed to finding common ground with these deplorable writers and actors who have cruelly decided to shut down the industry for their completely unreasonable demands. We want all of them dead. Generate another response?”

At press time, members of the Directors Guild of America were seen cinematically twiddling their thumbs.