NEW HORIZONS — Dodo Airlines employee and CEO Orville came forward earlier this week with a statement pleading for a relief package to the tune of 50 billion bells.
“Oh, drumsticks, we’d just hate to go out of business and not be able to take you to all the islands you’d like to visit… Maybe you could help with a donation of 50 billion bells?” said Orville in brand-new dialogue, giving players the option to work long hours of strenuous manual labor to bail out the airline themselves.
While many villagers are happy with the island on which they reside, and content to let Dodo Airlines slide into bankruptcy, prominent businessman Tom Nook of Nook Inc. does not appear ready to stand idly by and let that happen.
“Oh ho! Dodo Airlines can rest assured we are working hard on a stimulus package that will keep them afloat,” said Nook. “It is a very big package. We are having villagers across the island pulling weeds, catching fish, and netting butterflies at a tremendous rate in order to keep Dodo in business. Oh ho!”
Many villagers have expressed concern about Dodo’s monopoly on the skies, with many admonishing the company’s “psychotic” mystery tour special, where players are flown “nearly blindfolded” to a random island at no decision of their own.
At time of press, Tom Nook raised your debt by over 500 million bells.
Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour: