MINNEAPOLIS — Electronics retailer Best Buy has entered the competitive chicken sandwich market by introducing one of their own that will be made available in select locations starting next week, sources with the company have confirmed.
“We’re so excited to debut the Best Buy Fried Crispy Chicken sandwich,” said Corie Barry, CEO of Best Buy. “No retail corporation stays in business by ignoring the trends of the current moment, and a viral chicken sandwich is every company’s dream right now. Plus, we have so much room in our stores since we cleared out the DVD and music departments. Figure we might as well install deep fryers and give our eternally bored employees something to do.”
Consumers were surprised but ultimately excited about the newest entry into the increasingly competitive “chicken sandwich war.”
“Oh shit, I’m there,” said Douglas Dickson, a self described chicken sandwich connoisseur. “I know it sounds crazy, but I was right there when that Popeye’s sandwich popped off and started all of this shit. Then Burger King and Carl’s Jr and hell even fucking Taco Bell all have new chicken sandwiches now, and of course Chik-Fil-A is a major player in the game always. Can’t believe Best Buy is throwing their hat into the mix, but to be honest, I haven’t been inside a Best Buy in six years. For all I know they became a restaurant chain once we all started streaming movies and downloading our console games.”
Employees from many Best Buy branches are reportedly elated at having some new activities to participate in during their shifts.
“Oh god, finally some action,” said Jay Briggs, an employee at a local Best Buy, as he dropped four chicken patties in the deep fryer following the first order of the day. “I’ve been here for years, and it was a pretty okay place to work at first, back when people were still coming in. Lately though, shifts here have just been everyone standing around playing grab-ass until a customer comes in and then like five of us swarm them and ask if they need help finding anything, usually only to scare them off. I’m glad to have a job description that makes sense again: make the chicken sandwiches.”
As of press time Best Buy announced that their new crispy chicken sandwich would also be available in a combo meal which will include an HDMI cable and a room temperature bottle of Aquafina.