Uninspired Jason Voorhees Buys Gun
CRYSTAL LAKE — A number of concerned locals have reportedly witnessed famed local murderer Jason Voorhees filling out the appropriate…
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Mark Roebuck — Page 44
711 stories found
Naked Guy at Con Insists He’s Cosplaying Terminator
NEW YORK — A nude man causing a commotion at a recent New York Comic Con repeatedly assured witnesses and…
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Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Googles “New Metroid Bad”
ARLINGTON, Va. — Local gamer Roderick Pierce, who currently does not have $60, was recently seen googling the phrase “New…
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Windows 11 Review: Where the Fuck Is Space Cadet 3D Pinball?
Microsoft has released its highly publicized, widely scrutinized newest operating system, an update to its pioneering software simply called Windows…
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Gamer’s Friends Unsure Why He Needs to Own Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack on Vinyl
DETROIT — A recent gathering of friends at local gamer Matt Salazar’s house led them to wonder amongst themselves why…
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GameStop Customer Feeling Lonely After Being Left Alone for 45 Seconds
MUNICH — A forlorn customer at a local GameStop store was reportedly feeling ignored and unwanted after being left alone…
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Critic Reviewing Their Third Time Loop Game in a Week Starting to Wonder What’s Real
CINCINNATI — A video game journalist tasked with reviewing their third consecutive game set in a repeating time loop is…
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Bruce Wayne Oddly Insistent on Sending Batman to Space
GOTHAM CITY — A series of bizarre editorials by local billionaire Bruce Wayne has seen him repeatedly claim that Gotham…
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Here’s Everything We Know So Far
If you’re anything like us, you have trouble keeping straight everything we’ve officially found out from different companies and people…
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Best Buy Introduces New Crispy Chicken Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS — Electronics retailer Best Buy has entered the competitive chicken sandwich market by introducing one of their own that…
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