Wikipedia Regretfully Announces It Will Have to Start Killing Hostages
SAN FRANCISCO — Free, online encyclopedia Wikipedia has released a new banner announcing that the reference site will be forced…
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Kyle Duggan — Page 6
138 stories found
Gollum Claims Raw Fish Diet Responsible for His Incredible Longevity
MIDDLE EARTH — Local hermit Gollum credited his pescetarian diet for his 500-year lifespan, nearly five times higher than that…
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New 4K Remaster of Taxi Driver Will Reveal Who Travis Bickle’s Reflection Was Talking To
NEW YORK — A newly remastered version of Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver will reveal the identity of the mysterious figure…
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Dave Filoni Forced to Kill Master George Lucas Before Becoming Chief Creative Lead on Star Wars
SAN FRANCISCO — Dave Filoni was forced to strike down auteur filmmaker George Lucas before taking on his new role…
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20 Easy Good Deeds to Farm Your Way off of the Naughty List
It’s getting down to the wire, gamers. Christmas lists have long been finalized, presents have been ordered, and zero hour…
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Bobby Kotick Retires to Focus on Overseeing Toxic Culture of Harassment at Home
SANTA MONICA — Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick announced he is stepping down from his executive role at the video…
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Developers Pick Out Best Graphic Tees for Game Awards Red Carpet
At press time, a harried and unkempt Todd Howard was seen sprinting into a local Hot Topic after losing his…
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MGM Confirms Next Bond Film Will Be Slappers Only
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — James Bond production company Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer announced that the next film in the series would not only…
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NIMBY Protoss Oppose the Construction of Additional Pylons
“This used to be such a nice neighborhood,” said Fedranix, a high templar who organized the rally.
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Ridley Scott Defends Decision to Have Napoleon Constantly Ripping a Juul
“I’m sorry, were these critics alive and walking around in post-revolutionary France?” complained the octogenarian filmmaker.
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