All of My Friends, Ranked (Keith Please Do Not Read This) November 19, 2023 It might not be polite to admit it, but some friends are just better than others. We all know it. Read More →
I Owe Money to an Actual Raccoon and It’s Much Less Whimsical Than Animal Crossing Would Have You Believe November 14, 2023 Everyone understands that video games do not accurately portray reality. In real life, eating a flower won’t let you throw… Read More →
Couple Eases Into Open Relationship by Playing Baldur’s Gate 3 Co-Op November 13, 2023 MINNEAPOLIS — Local couple Allen Whittaker and Marie Hampton have begun a co-op playthrough of ‘Baldur’s Gate 3’ in order… Read More →
Biden Increasingly Concerned About Giant Monsters After Watching ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ November 13, 2023 WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden has shifted his stance on the threat posed by giant monsters after viewing Adam Wingard’s… Read More →
Unclear if Guy Complaining About “Black Spider-Man” Is Racist or Just Doesn’t Understand What Venom Is November 10, 2023 PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Rhode Island Comic Con attendees were left uncomfortable and confused after a man dressed as Peter Parker… Read More →
“And Then This One, She’s Super Strong, Like, POW!” We Asked Dave Filoni to Put Down His Dolls for a Minute and Answer Our Questions October 30, 2023 Like most of the Western world, we at Hard Drive are enormous Star Wars fans. It’s impossible to discuss the… Read More →
Epic Announces They Will Suck Your Dick if You Release Your Game on Their Store October 30, 2023 CARY, N.C. — Video game publisher Epic Games, Inc released a statement announcing that they would perform oral sex on… Read More →
Report: Pokémon League Suppressed Concussion Research October 29, 2023 INDIGO PLATEAU — An independent investigation has confirmed that high-level administrators at the Pokémon League conspired to suppress research that… Read More →
Top 40 LEGO Sets to Add to Your Wedding Registry October 27, 2023 Hey, we heard you were getting married. Congratulations! As your wedding approaches, you’re going to hear lots of metaphors for… Read More →
Konami Distracts Disappointed Metal Gear Fans With Nudie Mag October 26, 2023 TOKYO — Video game developer and pachinko titan Konami attempted to draw attention away from the underwhelming reception of its… Read More →