Executives from the small narrative consulting firm Sweet Baby Inc are happy to report that you need no prior knowledge of GamerGate to enjoy GamerGate 2.
“Oh we’ve been loving it,” one Sweet Baby executive shared after being forced inside a secure, undisclosed location. “Our engagement metrics are through the roof. Last month we had almost no one showing up unannounced to our offices. This month we’re up 14,512% in what we’re calling ‘unscheduled in-office feedback sessions.’”
According to reports the mood around the office bunker at Sweet Baby Inc is light and jovial, with several of the younger employees and interns enjoying GamerGate 2 despite not knowing much about the original GamerGate.
“All the old people in the office would reference it,” Sasha Birch, 20, said. “But millennials are always talking about weird stuff so I just ignored it. Now that GamerGate 2 is finally here I’m just glad I can relive the whole thing. I had tried to go back and learn about the original GamerGate but all the YouTube videos are super long and the people in them look very unwell.”
One online commenter, who asked to remain anonymous, said he belongs to a fundamentalist gamer group who believes Sweet Baby Inc invented People of Color as an attack against his group.
“All of Western Civilization hangs in the balance,” he said of character bios in a sci-fi RPG. “I will not cower. I will charge bravely into the comment section of each and every actresses’ Instagram post who dares challenge traditional gamer values. My father fought in Gamer Gate 1 and I’m honored to get the chance to serve.”
Although a general distrust of the media made interviews difficult, another group member said, “Maybe Sweet Baby Inc did some annoying corporate HR stuff I don’t know, but I have a job so I’m too busy to talk about any of this. I mostly ignore my Discord friends, they’re kinda nuts.”
As of press time much of the internet was reportedly holding its breath hoping the whole thing passes and we don’t need to talk about it for years to come.
Local PC Builder Luis Ho is taking his lack of skills to the rest of the household, multiple sources confirmed.
“I was constantly dropping frames in every game! Finally, I built up the courage to crack open my case! With a sledgehammer,” said Ho, lugging shards of computer parts out of his office. “But it made me realize I have lots of other tech in my house I can tinker with! Ya know how you can’t see if your dishwasher is working cause the door is opaque? Everyone can relate to this problem. Well, I fixed it by removing the door entirely. I’m excited to turn it on and see what they’ve been hiding from us all these years.”
Ho’s wife, Lisa Ho, is doing everything she can to be supportive of her husband’s hobby,
“Um, it’s actually Lisa Browning, now,” said Browning. “I moved out last week. The last straw was when he put flashing RGB LEDs all over my vibrator. It was better when he would just complain about his crappy computer and I could just tune him out, but his incompetence has leaked into all other facets of our lives. I have a computer engineering degree and he talks to me about PCs like I’m from the 1800s.”
Ho’s favorite PC Building Youtuber, TechDawg, got wind of Ho’s ambitions,
“I heard about Luis after he posted dozens of incoherent comments under all my videos,” said TechDawg, deliberately deleting comments one by one. “He said he’s gonna put a graphics card on his TV to make it look better or something? I have no idea. I post videos to educate people, and this is how some people take it. I had to report his account when he said he was going to rewire all the outlets in his house into one, giant ‘mega outlet.’”
At press time, Ho was seen hanging from his roof screaming about how gluing magnifying glasses to the tiles will turn them into solar panels.
LOS ANGELES – The latest apology video from an embattled YouTuber has proven utterly ineffective against the first-ever taste of power experienced by the average viewer, who has never before experienced someone wanting approval from them, sources confirmed today.
“I’ve never felt so alive,” said longtime subscriber Jenna Smith, her eyes gleaming with the intoxicating realization of her own influence. “All this time, I thought I was just a passive consumer of content, but now I see that I hold the very fate of this creator in my hands. I was up all night deciding on my sentencing and statement. The world awaits my decision.”
The video, an hour long masterclass in groveling and self-flagellation, was released in response to the YouTuber’s latest scandal, which involves a harrowing mistake surely worse than anything a single member of the audience has ever done.
“The world awaits my judgment,” said viewer Darryl Sanders, sticking his arm forward with his thumb pointed sideways like a roman emperor deciding if a gladiator should live or die. “I am the one with the power. It is I who decides this poor soul’s fate. That’s why they grovel at my feet. I am judge, subscriber, and executioner.”
As the apology video’s view count climbed, social media feeds quickly filled with demands for more groveling, more tears, and more abject humiliation from the once-beloved content creator.
“It’s a tale as old as time,” explained Dr. Maya Cunningham, a renowned psychologist specializing in internet dynamics. “Give a YouTube viewer even the tiniest modicum of power, and they’ll inevitably start writing out a list of commands some YouTube must abide by in order to cleanse their soul. I myself have received several and by the way I’m so sorry if I came off like I was above you due to my higher education and qualifications earlier.”
At press time, the YouTuber was seen frantically brainstorming a follow up apology video, intent on apologizing for how each individual viewer found the first one unsatisfactory in some ultra-important way.
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – Universal Pictures has announced that Gru, reformed supervillain star of the $4.4-billion Despicable Me franchise, will be joining either Fortnite or Call of Duty as a playable character, but cannot confirm which at this time.
“We couldn’t be more thrilled to combine our flagship Illumination IP with one of the biggest brands in gaming today,” said Universal Pictures spokesperson Michelle Mansfield before rifling through loose files on her desk. “And I would love to tell you all about that brand once I find the licensing paperwork.”
As of the release of 2022’s Minions: The Rise of Gru, the five-film franchise remains the highest-grossing in animation history, edging out the six-film Shrek franchise from fellow Universal subsidiary, DreamWorks Animation.
“It’s a natural fit,” said Illumination in a press release this morning. “Gru wouldn’t be the world-renowned mad genius he is without his signature arsenal, including such fan favorites as the Jelly Gun, Inflation Gun, and Fart Gun. Now Minions everywhere can step into his Gucci boots and carry on the Gru legacy with a sniper rifle of indeterminate realism.”
Sources within the studio requested anonymity, but couldn’t fully explain why. Most recalled seeing concept art around the office depicting the character wielding an FN SCAR-L Mk2 assault rifle with a wry smile, but weapons resembling that particular model appear in both the Fortnite and Call of Duty franchises. Questions as to the validity of the art were met with a common refrain, summarized in a comment from a tired-looking character modeler: “Buddy, we’ve rendered a lot of Grus.”
After another hour of desktop shuffling and several terse phone calls, Mansfield said the character was “probably” headed to the more cartoonish Fortnite franchise.
Since its launch in 2017, the free-to-play online game has accrued an active player base of 250 million players monthly and over $20 billion in revenue. One of the chief forces behind that success is the brand’s willingness to collaborate with known quantities in pop culture, often available as character skins for in-game currency known as “V-Bucks.” These range from household names (Spider-Man, Boba Fett, John Cena) to properties with a distinctly adult appeal (Family Guy, Creed III, Martin Luther King, Jr.). But that doesn’t rule out the possibility that Gru answered the Call of Duty.
The military first-person-shooter series, no slouch as the fourth best-selling video game franchise of all time, has shared many of the same crossovers with the competition. Both multiplayer mammoths have included playable characters from Evil Dead, Dune, and The Walking Dead among others. When reached for comment, the unnamed PR representative who answered the phone at publisher Activision Blizzard said, “Sorry, we got a lot going on right now,” before hanging up.
Fortnite publisher and developer Epic Games kept similarly mum on the possibility, with CEO Tim Sweeney only volunteering, “Sure, I’d buy that.”
Mansfield did recall that the unspecified deal was timed to coincide with the July 3rd release of Despicable Me 4. “So all gamers should keep, um, refreshing their games this summer and Gru might just show up where you least expect him. Will. He will show up.”
No word yet on whether he will be joined by downloadable Minions or banana-themed cosmetics.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Mar 7.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
Produce genetically identical copies of an organism, typically through asexual reproduction or by using biotechnological methods.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“N”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“O”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“L”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“C”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 891 days straight! So here goes nothing:
A noun that refers to a feeling, intuition, or instinctive guess about something, often without any logical explanation or evidence.
A verb that means to bend or stoop forward, typically due to discomfort, fatigue, or cold.
Wordle #989 For March 4, 2024
“FLAME“
The highly visible, brightly glowing, and often flickering component of a fire.
Wordle #988 For March 3, 2024
“STATE“
As a noun: a political entity with defined geographical boundaries, a permanent population, and a government.
Wordle #987 For March 2, 2024
“URBAN“
The social, cultural, and economic aspects of city life, as opposed to rural living.
Wordle #986 For March 1, 2024
“FORTY“
A numeric value that can be arrived at by multiplying four by ten.
Wordle #985 For February 29, 2024
“IMAGE“
A visual representation or depiction of something, typically produced by photography, painting, drawing, or digital means.
Wordle #984 For February 28, 2024
“DEVIL“
A supernatural being, often depicted as evil, malevolent, or the adversary of God.
Wordle #983 For February 27, 2024
“SENSE“
As a noun, any of the five faculties through which stimuli from the external world are received and perceived: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch.
Wordle #982 For February 26, 2024
“OFTEN“
An adverb that indicates frequency or regularity of occurrence.
Wordle #981 For February 25, 2024
“SMITH“
A common surname of English origin.
A person who works with skill and craftsmanship in the creation of various objects.
Wordle #980 For February 24, 2024
“PIPER“
A musician who plays the bagpipes, a traditional wind instrument.
Wordle #979 For February 23, 2024
“APART“
Separate or detached from something else; not connected or joined together.
Wordle #978 For February 22, 2024
“HEAVY“
Used as an adjective to indicate having great weight; difficult to lift, move, or carry due to mass or density.
Wordle #977 For February 21, 2024
“BUILD“
Used as a verb most commonly: to construct, assemble, or create something, such as a structure, or object.
Wordle #976 For February 20, 2024
“MATCH“
To be equal or corresponding to something else in quality, quantity, or significance.
Wordle #975 For February 19, 2024
“PRICE“
The amount of money or value that must be paid or exchanged to acquire goods or services.
Wordle #974 For February 18, 2024
“RIDGE“
A long, narrow, elevated area of land that forms a crest or a continuous line along the top of a mountain, or hill.
Wordle #973 For February 17, 2024
“PSALM“
A sacred song or hymn, typically from a specific titular Biblical book, which is a collection of religious poems and prayers found in the Old Testament of the Bible.
Wordle #972 For February 16, 2024
“STASH“
As a noun: a secret or hidden supply of something, typically valuable or desirable items.
As a verb: to hide or store something away, often for future use or for safekeeping.
Wordle #971 For February 15, 2024
“ASCOT“
A type of necktie or cravat that is typically worn with formal attire. It consists of a narrow strip of fabric that is folded over and tied in a manner similar to a scarf, with the ends tucked into the collar of a shirt.
Wordle #970 For February 14, 2024
“TALON“
A sharp, hooked claw of a bird of prey or a predatory animal, particularly one used for seizing and grasping prey.
Wordle #969 For February 13, 2024
“SCRAM“
An informal or colloquial verb that means to leave or go away quickly, often in a hurried or abrupt manner.
Wordle #968 For February 12, 2024
“PASTA“
A type of Italian food made from a dough typically consisting of wheat flour, water, and sometimes eggs, which is formed into various shapes and then cooked by boiling or baking.
Wordle #967 For February 11, 2024
“NEVER“
An adverb that indicates the absence of something happening or occurring at any time in the past, present, or future.
Wordle #966 For February 10, 2024
“FRIED“
An adjective that describes food that has been cooked in oil or fat until it becomes crispy and golden brown on the outside.
Wordle #965 For February 9, 2024
“STIFF“
An adjective that means inflexible, or not easily bent.
Wordle #964 For February 8, 2024
“PLACE“
A specific point or area in space, indicating where something is situated or located.
Wordle #963 For February 7, 2024
“AFTER“
A preposition that denotes the period following a certain moment or event.
Wordle #962 For February 6, 2024
“WHICH“
A pronoun, as well as an interrogative word that is used to introduce a clause that provides additional information about a noun.
Wordle #961 For February 5, 2024
“REPEL“
A verb that means to push away or drive back forcefully, or to cause strong dislike or aversion.
Wordle #960 For February 4, 2024
“VERGE“
A point at which something is about to happen or undergo a change.
Wordle #959 For February 3, 2024
“MICRO“
A prefix meaning small used in scientific, technical, and everyday language to denote something tiny in size or on a miniature scale.
Wordle #958 For February 2, 2024
“CLEFT“
An adjective that describes something that is split or divided, often into two parts.
Wordle #957 For February 1, 2024
“ALIVE“
An adjective that is characterized by the presence of vital signs, such as respiration, heartbeat, and consciousness.
Wordle #956 For January 31, 2024
“BULKY“
An adjective used to describe something that is large, heavy, and takes up a lot of space.
AUSTIN – Fans and employees of media company Rooster Teeth were saddened to learn today that the internet stalwart has lost a Death Battle to the cold, uncaring capitalist system which values profit above all else.
“They put up a great fight,” recalled Ben Black, who’s watched nearly everything the company released. “But when they announced ‘Red vs. Blue vs. The Current State of The Media Industry’ I knew it was over.”
The knockout of Rooster Teeth may come as a shock to the greater internet, but for Seth Siegel, an avid fan of ‘DEATH BATTLE!’, it comes as no surprise.
“This decision was expected from the moment this match-up was even teased by David Zaslav,” explained Siegel, who has been involved with the powerleveling community for years. “Fans of the site can tell you that they had hundreds of talented workers at their arsenal, but the constant need for revenue growth every quarter has a kill count in the billions. Not to mention the experience gap, with the team only having 20 years of experience versus the hundreds of years of living to serve human greed,” the powerscaler recounted. “Personally, I would have put the entirety of Warner Bros. Discovery up against capitalism instead – though given their recent track record, that battle could still end up happening.”
The only official word on the matter has come in the form of a victory speech by David Zaslav, CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery.
“What happened to Rooster Teeth was but a small percentage of the free market’s true power!,” proclaimed Zaslav, laughing maniacally as lightning struck. “People are so attached to shows like ‘RWBY’ they forget about how powerful the one true god above all others, The Profit, can be. He can take any art and reduce it to nothing but a disappointing capital return in a second. Until these heretic ‘content creators’ give up on art and begin to worship at the altar of profit, they’ll never stand a chance.”
As of press time, Zaslav was seen writing a victory speech for ending the decades-long ‘Red vs. Blue’ conflict.
Wrestling News: A prominent member of the AEW roster has reportedly been suspended, following issues stemming from an injury mid-match.
According to a new report from Fightful Select, Sammy Guevara is currently suspended from the company following his match against Jeff Hardy.
The report from the Patreon subscription service confirmed: “During the match, Jeff Hardy sustained an injury, and concussion protocol was not followed, which resulted in Sammy Guevara hitting his finisher on Hardy, which we’re told shouldn’t have happened.”
Wrestling News: Sammy Guevara Suspension
As of writing, it is not confirmed how long Sammy is set to be out of the ring. This is, however, not the first time that Guevara has found himself suspended.
The former Inner Circle member was suspended a few years ago for offensive comments that he made regarding Sasha Banks/Mercedes Mone in an older interview, which timeline-wise came about the same time-frame as his backstage ‘fight’ with Andrade.
Hard Drive Does Wrestling News?
Yes, Hard Drive has a real WWE/wrestling news section now, but you don’t need to freak out because we aren’t changing any of the ‘normal’ satire content or normal gaming news content; We’re just adding an extra element to the site’s content, which you can check out if you want to.
Make sure you check out more of the content we have via our Minus World section and if you want to see more pro wrestling or combat sports you can check out my site FightFans, or if you’re a movie fan you can check out my content on MovieMeter!
WWE News: Company legend John Cena recently made a pretty big reveal about his past feud with The Rock, confirming old rumors.
Speaking to Chris Van Vliet, Cena revealed that there were plans in place for him to turn heel against ‘The Great One’ back when they feuded from WrestleMania 27 to 29.
“It was Cena Rock 1. I got word that they were going to do it. And I went out and recorded a new song. I went out and got all new gear. I wasn’t prepared for Ruthless Aggression. That was the last time I wasn’t prepared.
“I mean, I heard rumblings of, we’re going to do it, and in 48 hours, I had a new track, a new studio mix theme song, and a final mix. And, I had seven new singlets, low-cut singlets with boxing-type robes. I already had the boots in storage, so I dusted them off. I was ready to go and already thinking about what I could do with the story” the multi-time World Champion revealed (via WrestlingNewsCo).
WWE News: Could John Cena really have turned heel?
Cena would also reveal the plans he had in place for the heel turn, noting that he wanted to completely go against everything that had made his character beloved to the younger demographic.
“A heel is not just new gear” he noted. “The objectivity or the message behind the singlet and the boxing robes and the boots is the exact opposite of what you saw with the street gear, the jeans shorts, the t-shirt, the ball cap, the sneakers. Go the opposite route and now lean into the opposite of everything you stand for.”
Why John Cena didn’t turn heel
The WWE legend would also explain why it would end up taking place: “It’s like, how can I take the intellectual property that people are familiar with and twist it so it’s like, this guy’s f*cking insane. It’s everything I’ve come to love and now I genuinely hate it and being a real bad guy, and I think that was the conversation that was eventually had where it’s like, okay, it’s a bad idea.
“So I’m like, Hey, I know this is going to sting, but I’m not going to sell another T-shirt. I’m going to take all merchandise off the market, I’m not going to put out anything new and I’m not going to make any more appearances.
“So I’m not going to do any Make-A-Wish. I’m not going to do anything like that. I’m going to be a bad guy to make your good guy, so your good guy does all that. That’s when I was like, we’re kind of in too deep. So it worked out the way it worked out, but bro, I was ready.”
Hard Drive Does Wrestling News?
Yes, Hard Drive has a real WWE/wrestling news section now, but you don’t need to freak out because we aren’t changing any of the ‘normal’ satire content; We’re just adding an extra element to the site’s content, which you can check out if you want to.
Make sure you check out more of the content we have via our Minus World section and if you want to see more pro wrestling or combat sports you can check out my site FightFans, or if you’re a movie fan you can check out my content on MovieMeter!
YOUR LIVING ROOM – In a stunning display of poor judgment the least charismatic member of your D&D group has inexplicably chosen to play a Bard, sources confirmed yesterday.
According to reports the campaign, which once held the promise of epic adventures and collaborative storytelling, has been steadily deteriorating since the fateful day when you extended an invitation to your coworker, whose sole qualification was having read The Chronicles of Narnia as a child.
“I thought he’d fit in,” said the group’s Forever DM, who now regrets ever agreeing to host this unkillable burden of a game. “But once he was free from the constraints of workplace banter, it became clear that he was about as interesting as a stale slice of bread.”
Witnesses report that the coworker’s attempts to portray a “charming, half-devil rock star who’s bedded a thousand women” have been nothing short of disastrous, with his in-game persuasion rolls performed with all the allure of a man who hasn’t been in a relationship since his ultra-Catholic high school girlfriend dumped him for trying a beer in college.
“We didn’t think things could get any worse after discovering that our Level 4 Human Fighter was the only one with improv experience,” said the group’s Wizard, who still hasn’t grasped the concept of combat positioning. “But then this guy started insisting on coming up with a unique insult every time he casts Vicious Mockery. It’s painful to watch.”
The campaign’s woes have been compounded by a series of unfortunate player choices, including a Barbarian who spends most sessions glued to their phone and a Rogue whose “edgy pickpocketing” bit got old faster than a Bard’s repertoire of fantasy cover songs.
As the campaign limps towards its inevitable demise, the group has come to a grim realization: the Bard, a man who should really cast “Disguise Self As Someone With A Personality,” has become the final nail in the coffin of their once-promising adventure.
At press time, the group was seen contemplating whether to stage an intervention for their Bard or simply let the campaign die a natural death.
WWE News: Superstar Becky Lynch recently discussed how she “sells conflict” on-screen with a friend who she has had an up-and-down relationship with.
Speaking to Inside The Ropes about the post-show press conference where she and Charlotte Flair appeared in front of the press together, she reflected on the relationship they have had in their careers.
“Wasn’t that nice? I think Charlotte and I are always going to be butting heads because we both want to be the very best” Becky noted (via WrestlingINC). “And with that, it’s hard to have an eternal symbiotic relationship, but it was nice.
“Animosity, especially for a long time, begins to weigh on you, [and] becomes to get heavy. So whenever you can get a break from that, I think that’s nice. But you can’t get too much of that, because this is wrestling, man. We’re not selling a good time, we’re selling conflict.”
WWE News: Becky Lynch on relationship with Charlotte Flair
Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair are part of the ‘Four Horsewomen,’ an unofficial group also consisting of Sasha Banks/Mercedes Mone and Bayley.
The relationship between the two rivals has been strained at times, with Becky claiming to the MMA Hour that Charlotte was “jealous” of her success as ‘The Man.’
“Like people were really rallying behind me and this turn would turn me into a different league, and she couldn’t take that and has never been able to take it” Becky revealed.
That tension would continue to grow as the two women made history by being the first women to main event WrestleMania alongside Ronda Rousey, with a ‘title-switch’ segment years after that in October 2021 leading to a reported backstage fight.
Publicly, for now, the two appear to be cordial.
Hard Drive Does Wrestling News?
Yes, Hard Drive has a real WWE/wrestling news section now, but you don’t need to freak out because we aren’t changing any of the ‘normal’ satire content; We’re just adding an extra element to the site’s content, which you can check out if you want to.
Make sure you check out more of the content we have via our /realnews/ section and if you want to see more pro wrestling or combat sports you can check out my site FightFans, or if you’re a movie fan you can check out my content on MovieMeter!
