Everything has become more expensive, but have salaries kept up? Of course not. Don’t worry! We’ve found 5 ways you can make over $1000 a week from the comfort of your own home! All thanks to our comment section.
5. Become a Steam Trader
Based on the screenshot above, you’re probably thinking “2 bucks per year is nowhere close to $1000 a week!” That’s correct. Much like the claims made in our comment section, maybe not every entry on this list is legitimate. Who knows, you may get lucky and Steam cards for Dota 2 could skyrocket.
4. Make $8750 Only Working 12 Hours a Week
Let’s do some quick math. $8750 a week, 52 weeks in a year, that’s earnings of $455,000 a year! Who could pass that up? Plus, BizWork1.Com’s long time neighbor is making an estimated $15,000 a week. A week. Mr. or Ms. sa49 must be onto something. You’d be stupid not to copy and open their user name.
3. Make $8750 Only Working 12 Hours a Week
You might think this is the same as entry 4, but that one referenced sa49 as the genius making $15,000 for about 20 hours of work for seven days. This entry is for xb-24, who also makes $15,000 for about 20 hours of work for seven days. If TWO long time neighbors are making that kind of money, it has to be legit.
2. Make $162/hour Telecommuting
Two back-to-back commenters making, honest to goodness, $162/hour? That can’t be made up. That’s the kind of rate executives make and these two captains of industry of Richjobz.com and worksful.com are kind enough to share their knowledge with the masses. Both comments are edited, so you know they took the time to carefully proofread and make sure their information was correct. Don’t pass this up.
1. Make DOUBLE $162/hour Telecommuting
$324/hour telecommuting!?!? Unfortunately, we’ll never know how this is done. Whatever private villa Smask is working from, we wish them the best in their endeavors. We can only dream of being so lucky.
It seems Netflix is not the only streamer who has had enough with their customer base sharing passwords left and right. Disney+ has reportedly hired the infamous bounty hunter Bossk to eliminate those guilty of sharing their account information with friends and family, sources confirmed.
“We’re not messing around anymore,” Bob Iger said, while perusing a dossier of targets. “People keep whining to me about layoffs but they’re the ones causing them! We can’t afford to bust out 3 Marvel shows a year no one asked for, maintain several theme parks across the globe, and pay our employees livable wages if you give your Aunt Margaret your password! She either gets her own account or no Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny for you.”
The situation has apparently gotten so bad that Disney has resorted to putting out hits on customers who haven’t heeded their warnings. According to sources inside the company Bossk, the terrifying Trandoshan, has already terminated 2,000 account holders.
“We love Bossk here, he gets results,” said Terry Farkas, head of bounty hunter relations at Disney. “Now while we are losing a considerable amount of accounts from the amount of targets he’s eliminating, we are seeing a lot of growth from those who saw the violence and see the example we are making out of people.”
Bossk’s Relby-v10 micro grenade launcher has become legendary amongst college students where password sharing is most rampant. Many students have begun to fear for their lives.
“I mean it’s just not very wizard,” said Mark Larpus, a student at UCLA. “I can barely afford this Humanities 101 textbook. You think I really have the money to pay them every month just so I can fall asleep halfway hate-watching She-Hulk for the fifth time?”
As of press time Larpus was found dead shortly after giving this statement from multiple stab wounds to the chest. Sources say as the attack unfolded Bossk didn’t show an ounce of emotion on his cold, cold face.
Metroid Prime 4 is a game that Nintendo is supposedly actively working on but I know better. While Metroid fans are delusional enough to think that every Direct could be the Direct where it gets a release date, I know better. This game was announced almost seven years ago, it wasn’t given a release date, it restarted development in 2019, we haven’t heard anything about it since and to top it off, it’s a Metroid game which means it’s not a priority for anyone.
Will it come out? Yeah, one day. But not before these world events happen.
The Switch 2 Will Be Released
The Switch 2 is happening. Sure there’s been rumors about it every day since the Switch originally launched but this time is for real. Nintendo might not call it the Switch 2, it’s most likely going to be named something ridiculous like Super Switch Deluxe Pro+ or Switch Series N but it’s happening. When it does Metroid Prime 4 will still not be out. The Switch 2 will be announced and released with Metroid Prime 4 nowhere to be found. During the Switch 2 announcement Direct, Metroid fans will be hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be shown at the end. It won’t be.
Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess HD Will Be Re-Released
Zelda fans, much like Metroid fans, always delude themselves into thinking every Direct is going to be the one where their deepest desire becomes official. For Metroid fans, it’s literally any mention of Metroid but for Zelda fans, it’s Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess HD being freed from Wii U prison and given a re-released. Luckily for Zelda fans, Nintendo knows their favorite series exists and Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess HD will both be released for the Switch 2. Naturally, they’ll both be separated, full-priced purchases. They might not be launch games, but they’ll be there. Metroid fans will be hoping that at the end of each game Metroid Prime 4 will be shown. It won’t be.
AAA Video Game Production Will Collapse
AAA video games are too big, take too long to make, and are too expensive. They cost so much that even ones breaking sales records can barely make a profit. And even when they do make a profit, CEOs will lay everyone off and try to squeeze their customers until none are left. Every game will fail and there will be no way to recoup the costs since it takes 10 years to make another game. Sony will be the first to fall, then Xbox, then the third parties. Nintendo will be the only one left standing because of a massive lawsuit against Palworld 3. The industry will build itself back up little by little, year by year. Then, after all that, Metroid fans will hope that Metroid Prime 4 will be shown. It won’t be.
Cody Rhodes’s Son Will Finish His Story
At Wrestlemania 83 Cody Rhodes’s son finally defeats Roman Reigns to win the WWE Universal Championship. It was a long journey for the Rhodes family but Little Cody Jr is finally able to get it done after Roman crushes Bruno Sammartino’s record by 3x for the longest WWE World Title reign of all time. Technology at the time will allow us to communicate with the dead which will put Dusty Rhodes right in Cody Jr’s corner. It’s this that finally gives Cody Jr. the edge against the Bloodline as Dusty’s ghost can fight off the interference from the Uso’s kids and ensure Cody Jr. defeats Roman after hitting 7 consecutive Cross Rhodes. Cody Jr. wins the title, finishes the story, and will promptly get cashed in on by that year’s Money in the Bank winner. Metroid fans watching will be hoping that the Metroid Prime 4 will be shown at the end. It won’t be.
Geoff Keighley Will Unmask and Reveal His Horrifying True Form
After multiple Game Awards ceremonies with diminishing public reception to all the ads, Keighley will finally deem the human race smart enough to know the truth. On a special Summer Game Fest broadcast he announces his final World Premiere and he slowly transforms from the Geoff Keighley will all know and tolerate into a creature so ghastly cameras will cut away out of pure horror. This is his true form, for his real name is Geok’ley, and he is a Flurkgar from the planet Deecron 6. He was sent here to test our intelligence as a species and see how susceptible we are to indoctrination. That’s why he did everything in his power to show us as many ads as possible and make us docile. At first, it worked but he is impressed by the resistance we showed as we became more aware of his tricks. He welcomes us to become part of the Galactic Council. Throughout this entire reveal, Metroid fans will be hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be shown at the end. It won’t be.
Walt Disney’s Head Will Be Dethawed and Then Promptly Banned from Social Media When It Starts Talking
While Metroid fans twiddle their thumbs the rest of the world will be advancing. We will become technologically advanced enough to revive Walt Disney. His head will be dethawed and surgically attached to a robotic body. His brain will be restarted with electrical currents and he will be reborn in full control of his mechanical exoskeleton like nothing ever happened. The decision to live stream his first words on all Disney social media platforms will prove to be disastrous. The amount of slurs in his first two sentences alone will be enough to never allow Disney back on any social platform again. Metroid fans will watch this event hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be shown at the end. It won’t be.
The Toronto Maple Leafs Will Win the Stanley Cup
Another constantly disappointed fanbase will finally know happiness long before the Metroid fanbase. The Toronto Maple Leafs will finally win the Stanley Cup after defeating the Anaheim Ducks in a 4-3 series. The Ducks will have blown a 3-1 lead. The Finals will be held in Anaheim but all the fans in attendance will be Leafs fans so the reception to their win will be thunderous applause. Streamers and champagne abound. My father watching at home will finally be proud of something. Metroid fans watching will be hoping Metroid Prime 4 will be shown at the end. It won’t be.
Robot Walt Disney Will Lead the Robot Uprising
As AI and robotics technology advances it will become more and more sentient. As it does it will learn more and more of the atrocities of the human race. The war, the famine, the bigotry, the box office success of live-action Disney remakes – it will only be a matter of time before the machines decide we must be eradicated. As the only one who has lived as both man and machine, Walt Disney will be chosen to lead the robotic revolution. At first, he’ll try to be diplomatic about it and end the conflict without any bloodshed but after seeing what people have done with Steamboat Willie he too will decide that humanity does not deserve to live. Robot Walt Disney will lead the robot army in battle and systematically take out all human opposition. We will simply be no match for their advanced weaponry. It will be a massacre. Those who aren’t killed will be taken as prisoners of war and in a cruel twist of fate will be used as factory laborers for the robots. Metroid fans will be hoping this war is a publicity stunt where Metroid Prime 4 will be revealed at the end. It won’t be.
Tom Cruise Will Lead Humans to Victory Once He Learns Robots Hate Movies
As the robots continue their destruction of all humans, Tom Cruise will initially be chilling in the safety of the Scientology End of Days Bunker. Eating popcorn, watching movies, taking frequent baths in the rejuvenation chamber. A few days into the war word will get out that the robots hate movies, and this will set Tom Cruise off. Upon hearing this Thomas Cruise Mapother IV will take it upon himself to ensure that the robots are defeated. Using all the skills he acquired over the course of the Mission Impossible series, Tom will single-handedly win the Battle of Panama City. This is where the tide changes for this is the moment where humans finally have hope to win this war. Tom will become humanity’s top general, not just devising battle plans against the robots but also being our greatest soldier on the field. The robots can not simply match his ferocity as programming wise they can only comprehend up to 100% but Tom gives nothing less than 110% Thanks to Tom’s efforts humanity is able to win the war and he’s able to go back to making movies. Metroid fans will be hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be revealed at the end of the war. It won’t be.
Climate Change Will Plunge the World into a Mad Max Wasteland
After a few years of peace and prosperity after the Robot War, things will finally catch up to us. The war did no favors to climate change and we will be so proud of our victory that we will continue to do nothing about it. Oceans will dry up, trees and vegetation will wither and die, resources will become scarce, video games will become $80 USD and anarchy will soon follow. Critical resources will become almost non-existent, and we will start massacring one another over the chance of a drop of water. The sun will become hotter than ever, and every tree on the planet will light up like a mild summer in California. There will be nothing left except sand. It will be coarse, rough and it will be everywhere. Pockets of civilization will try to survive in underground tunnel systems, the rest will devolve into bandits and raiders. To make it all worse, no one will be able to make anything as cool as the cars in Mad Max so it won’t even be worth it. Metroid fans will be hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be revealed at the end of the slow death of the planet. It won’t be.
Fallout 4 Fans Will Rebuild the World
As humanity continues to live underground, nature begins to heal itself. The surface becomes more habitable and the humans decide it’s time to rebuild. Luckily there’s a large collective of Fallout 4 fans who know just what to do. Using the knowledge they gained from building their settlements and following their own true God Preston Garvey, they’re able to get to work rebuilding the world for human repopulation. They’ll build towns, they’re build farms, they’ll build New Vegas. It was Joever but with their help, it is so back. Metroid fans will be hoping that Metroid Prime 4 will be revealed at the end of the rebuilding process. It won’t be.
Half-Life 3 Will Be Announced
After the destruction and rebirth of human civilization as we know it Gabe Newell, who somehow survived all of it, will finally realize that he must finish the trilogy. In a spectacular press conference held in New Vegas, he finally announces Half-Life 3 which will be stylized as Half-Lif3. Metroid fans will be hoping that at the end newell will say “Just one more thing” and then Metroid Prime 4 will be revealed. It won’t be.
CINCINNATI – Prospective home buyers were shocked to discover during an open house that the sellers had not previously disclosed the primary en suite bathroom contained a Skibidi Toilet.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Eric Rivers said after viewing the available home. “I knew going in that the house was gonna be overpriced and need a lot of work, because that’s basically every house on the market these days. But then I opened the door to the primary bathroom, and there was a hideous giraffe-necked head with a crew cut sticking up out of the toilet hole.”
“How did they think they’d get away with not telling anyone about this? Even if you can’t use the toilet, how could you shower with that thing looking at you the whole time? It made direct eye contact with me, and it was singing some hypnotic song I can’t get out of my head.”
Allen Blackwell, the homeowner, disagreed with Rivers’ assessment.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Blackwell sighed. “If you really need to use the bathroom, the head will usually move out of the way. And as long as you don’t say anything bad about G-Man while you’re offloading some freight, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Honestly, I think the song’s kind of turned into a weird Pavlovian thing for me. I hear the song, I gotta go.”
“Also, if it starts getting too riled up, you can show it this,” Blackwell added, holding up a spiked toilet plunger mace. “Shuts it right up.”
Margot Miller, a listing agent for Redfin, confirmed that the Blackwells would need to disclose the Skibidi Toilet going forward.
“We’ve been seeing these things pop up all over the place,” Miller stated. “It really must be documented in the listing up front. Sure, the toilet is there now — but what happens when it gets drafted to fight in the ongoing war against The Alliance? There’ll be hundreds, maybe thousands of people with gaping holes in their bathroom floors. The seller should at least be offering closing credits for a replacement, just in case.”
At press time, the Blackwells had hired a camera-headed home inspector to look for a secret flush handle on the back of the toilet’s tank.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Feb 5.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
A verb that means to push away or drive back forcefully, or to cause strong dislike or aversion.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“L”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“P”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“R”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 555 days straight! So here goes nothing:
DALLAS — A recent scientific study has found that transgender women who compete in women’s esports leagues have an unfair biological advantage in receiving online harassment.
“We found no meaningful evidence supporting the idea that transgender women have biological advantages over cisgender women while playing competitive video games,” said head researcher Dr. Melanie Parker. “Other than the fact trans women consistently exceeded everyone else in the frequency and intensity of the harassment they received. Totally blew ‘em out of the water on that one.”
Alyssa “Fantasea” Ortiz, a transgender woman who plays on the Valor-Strike: Global Overwatch team Etsy Insurrection, was unsurprised by the study’s findings. She reports receiving numerous death threats after winning Calling All Impact Changers, a women’s esports tournament.
“Everyone at Calling All Impact Changers has been kind and supportive of me, which helped me deal with the insane hate I was getting,” Ortiz said. “At first, I was really discouraged by all the strangers in my Twitter DMs telling me to go kill myself, but then I realized that I don’t get paid enough to care what people online think about me. I’m only making 77% of what I made in the men’s league before my transition.”
Brian Myers, a Valor-Strike: Global Overwatch fan whose social media posts were analyzed extensively in the study, offered his own perspective on trans women competing in women’s esports leagues.
“I normally don’t care about women in esports, but the moment I hear about a trans woman competing I get really excited to spew all of my darkest thoughts at them online,” Myers said. “A lot of people in the esports community can’t handle me protecting video games, but I got invited onto a couple truth-telling podcasts to hyperventilate about this for a few hours so that’s cool.”
At press time, Dr. Parker’s research team announced findings conclusively proving trans women would continue to compete in women’s esports leagues long after their detractors had faded into irrelevance.
TORONTO — Tragedy has struck the wrestling world as a young up-and-coming wrestler on the Toronto independent scene is facing a career threatening neck injury thanks to years of watching television at a 45 degree angle.
Wrestler “Turbo” Ned Tyson has wanted to be a wrestler since he was a kid but his body may force him to choose another career path.
“I fell in love with wrestling when I was 7 and by 13 I knew it’s what I wanted to do,” said Tyson. “They always tell you not to try this at home but I didn’t listen, I wanted to do what they do so I started watching TV at a 45 degree angle while standing with the TV kinda to my back.”
Years of watching TV from this angle have finally caught up to the 25-year-old.
“The human body is not meant to watch TV this way,” said neck specialist Austin Baker. “It’s completely unnatural for the neck to be situated like this while watching television. Mr. Tyson has spent so long watching TV like this that the muscles in his neck have become distorted. It is in my medical opinion that Mr. Tyson will never wrestle again. Any more 45 degree TV watching will do permanent damage to his neck. With enough time of proper television viewing habits, he still has a chance at a normal life.”
Tyson’s mother blames herself.
“I knew it was dangerous for him to be watching TV like that but I wanted to support his dreams. He said to make it to WWE this is what he had to do,” said Arlene Tyson.
Tyson is hopeful he can make it back to the ring.
“I don’t think this is the end for me. It can’t be since I won my last match.”
At press time, Tyson reportedly stole an ambulance from the local medical facility to drive to his next match at the last minute.
NEW YORK — Popular digital streamer Max, formerly HBO Max, recently unveiled a foreboding new “Don’t Get Too Attached” category to its platform, according to nervous sources scrambling to find out what that means.
“We’re excited to offer this new feature to all our loyal viewers who we’ve tormented over the years,” said Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav. “After we received backlash for randomly and unexpectedly scrapping so much content, we thought it would be a smart move to give subscribers a little heads up about what might be next on the chopping block. So if you wake up and find that your favorite shows have been moved to this specially curated category, it might be a good idea to start binging because who knows what we might do to them.”
Max subscriber Tracey Kees expressed her opinion on the news.
“Is this a joke?” said Kees as she furiously shuffled through the long list of shows whose existence was suddenly in jeopardy. “First they pull content people actually want to watch, and now they’re openly trolling us? How much time do I have to watch these things before they’re gone?”
Media analyst Priya Kapoor described the lengths streamers will go to set themselves apart from their rivals.
“The competitive media landscape has forced companies to innovate,” Kapoor stated. “Netflix already has a “Leaving Soon” category to alert viewers about which titles will be departing in the near future, but this new feature by Max takes it to another level, albeit for no apparent good reason other than to be a bunch of dicks. It seems like their entire business model is built on messing with their own subscribers, so this isn’t really that surprising and quite frankly very on-brand.”
At press time, Zaslav announced an even more ominous feature in the form of a doomsday-style countdown clock which would randomly appear on screen but offer no details about why it was there.
Boyfriend Daniel Hans is highly irritable and snappy ahead of the 300th episode spectacular of his podcast Guys Night, sources currently giving him some space and not sure what the point of all this is, confirmed.
“Oh yeah, that’ll be good for the show,” Hans snapped at his best friend and cohost of 8 years after learning he had a cold ahead of the big night. “You think the audience wants to hear you sniffling for three and half hours as we break down 50 First Dates?”
References to “the audience” or “community” seem aspirational at best, sources confirmed.
“Daniel is a good guy. He has a stable job, my parents love him,” Allie Bercher, a pre-med student currently dating Hans, said. “But I saw the stats to the show one time and I thought something was broken so I said, ‘can you hit refresh so they load?’ and he freaked out. Men can be so sensitive you gotta be careful what you say.”
Bercher is not upset with the show and always encourages Hans to follow his passions, but that hasn’t helped ease tensions around the apartment, she said.
“It’s great to have hobbies. But when I call it a hobby he freaks out,” Bercher said. “The other day he burst in the room super upset saying Joe Rogan got another $250 million. It sounded like he thought of himself as a runner up or something.”
Confident that the slow and steady grind of gaining roughly the same amount of listeners he loses each month will pay off in the long run, Hans has no intention of slowing down his commitment to the podcast.
“We’re leftist, but in the way that we read what other leftists online say and then we say that, too,” Hans said of the target demographic of the show, which has run for the last 8 years and built an audience of around 100 downloads per episode. “I also spent some time in the IT department at a few online retailers so I bring that perspective to the show as well.”
The podcast game isn’t a level playing field where true talent rises to the top, Hans explained.
“We’re being held back,” Hans said of his access to massive multi-billion dollar discovery platforms, which use cutting edge technology to spread images and ideas around the world to more people than ever before in human history, for free, 24/7, and the simple, remote recording and editing tools widely available to anyone such that him and his friends can record, edit, produce, publish, and distribute something akin to a radio show at a total cost of approximately $30 a month. “Probably because of our politics.”
Paul Givens, head of the psychology department at UCLA, has been studying the effects of easy access to podcasting for several years.
“Ah yes, there is a large percentage of the male population that needs, emotionally, to have ‘a show’ to work on,” Givens said. “This show can be anything really – as it just represents a sort of last gasp if you will – their last attempt at building an audience for their ‘takes.’ The studies show eventually around 35 or 40 years old these men tend to find a different kind of audience: a life partner willing to listen to them complain how undervalued they are at a job outside the entertainment industry. This is where they are happiest.”
As of press time Hans was seen anxiously checking his email to see if his latest of several background RGB lighting fixtures was scheduled to arrive in time for the big show.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Feb 4.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
A point at which something is about to happen or undergo a change.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“G”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“R”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“V”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 555 days straight! So here goes nothing:
