ORLANDO — Early setbacks at Universal Orlando’s new Super Nintendo World have been smoothed out by experienced ride operators simply blowing into the malfunctioning attraction, sources confirm.
“It’s a rare occurrence, but from time to time dust does get into our rides,” said Molly Murphy, head of Universal Creative. “After a prompt blow into the ride’s interior, we flip the power switch a little harder than usual and boom! The ride is up and running again.”
This technique, which was simultaneously discovered back in the 80s in basements across the country, has been a tried and true method to fix any malfunctioning Nintendo hardware.
“I’m no Dr. Mario, but I haven’t found a problem a good puff of hot air can’t fix,” says blowing pioneer, Dylan Scholl. “Most times I blow into the game and the console before I even try to boot it up, like a ritual, I think the cartridges like it.”
After two massive successes in Hollywood and Tokyo, the Super Nintendo World creative team has streamlined production, yielding products with an incredibly low margin of error.
“We’ve tested these rides more times than we’ve dropped the baby penguin off the side of Cool, Cool Mountain,” said ride designer Josie Hogan. “Nine times out of ten blowing into the ride solves the problem, and if that doesn’t work, we try turning it off and on again. We’ve already begun training for our day-to-day operators, whose job it will be to keep the rides up and running. Every Super Nintendo World employee will be instructed on how to execute every quick fix method available, from banging the cartridge in with some oomph, to making sure all the RCA cables are plugged in. If all else fails, employees are instructed to call their older brothers to fix it.”
At press time, Nintendo has reached out to our sources to remind them that blowing into any NES, SNES, N64, Switch, and or GameBoy/DS hardware could be detrimental to the games performance, apparently.
