WASHINGTON — In a shocking, albeit not that surprising in hindsight, turn of events, independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been revealed to be another one of Hideo Kojima’s elaborate forms of marketing.
The reveal happened at the end of one of RFK Jr’s signature strange livestreams as he was eating honey from an active beehive while telling the story of how he once killed a Chupacabra.
“Was I frightened when I was confronting the Chupacabra? Of course I was but that fear fueled me and made me stronger than any man has ever been,” claimed Kennedy in his signature hoarse voice. “I became so strong that I tapped into a part of my DNA that made me transcend my own humanity and with the help of the nanomachines that were injected in me long ago I was able to telepathically control all the insects in the forest to help me defeat the mighty beast before I consumed its heart and absorbed its power for myself.”
It was at this moment when the livestream began to have apparent technical issues as it started cutting in and out before fading to the Kojima Productions logo. Hideo Kojima himself then came onscreen to reveal the ruse.
“What happens when the strange becomes normal? What happens when those in power are more monster than man? What happens when fear and confusion become the driving force of humanity? These are the questions that I will be exploring in my next project, an action thriller starring Charlee Fraser as a young woman forced to fight against a corrupt politician who abuses the laws of nature to threaten what it means to be human and all we take for granted. Thank you.”
The announcement sent the gaming world into a frenzy, with many claiming it all makes perfect sense in hindsight.
“OMG OMG OMG NEW KOJIMA GAME!!!!! RFK Jr. was never real, just a way to announce the game. I can’t believe we never figured it out, this man is talking in that voice, discussing killing bears and taking videos covered in bugs. No human acts like that, only Kojima characters,” wrote Twitter user FatSkinnyMan.
At press time, many gamers are claiming that this new Kojima game is actually a rework of the previously announced PS5 game Abandoned.
