Waves were made throughout the art world today as the Yale School of Art announced a new mandatory course on giving up and accepting furry art commissions.
“At first it really pissed me off,” said an anonymous student in Yale’s art program, “Then the professor explained to us that art is dead and capitalism killed it. That really spoke to me. Apparently the only way to maintain art as a career is to get really good at drawing ripped wolves and foxes. We had a two-week symposium on making sure their eyes look like they come out of a Disney cartoon. Otherwise we won’t get the full two-thousand dollar commission from it. Next week we’ll be covering how to show vascularity under fur, and studying the anatomy of canine phalluses.”
The class was implemented by the highest members of the art school faculty as an essential course for living as an artist.
“We started the course after seeing so many of our recent graduates working at the campus Starbucks,” explained Dean of Yale School of Design, Kimberly Pinder. “These are some of the best artists of our generation barely scraping by. Didn’t they know they could get paid thousands to draw a humanoid eagle copulating with a Charmeleon? If these students were just a little less picky about ‘making art they care about,’ then they’d be raking in the big bucks. Art is just a money laundering scheme anyway, might as well have someone bust a nut over it and make some cheddar while you’re at it.
The course has been catching fire in the furry community as well, where it has been wildly well-received.
“It’s just nice to get some validation for once,” tweeted X user, @GriffinbYiffin, “Quite frankly a huge aspect of the furry lifestyle is spending exorbitant amounts of money on highly specific art commissions. Can you really put a price on a custom picture of your fursona raw-dogging a beautiful silverback gorilla in a Kohl’s parking lot? If you can, please name that price and send me your cashapp right now.”
At press time the course lecturer was explaining that furries are the modern day Medicis for artist patronage.
