Netflix recently started a big push for their Netflix Games to try and capture some of the gaming market. We were eager to try them out, but then we remembered none of us have a Netflix subscription. That’s why we asked our gamer friends to try out the games available on the service and then report back with their recommendations.
Unfortunately none of them wanted to play a single game through Netflix and they all got distracted by Netflix’s endless library of mediocre television and movies. Here’s what they watched instead of actually playing the games like we asked them to.
Maren: ‘Ozark’
“Look, when it comes to Netflix games I can appreciate the odd drinking game for Peaky Blinders or Squid Game, but I don’t drink, and I’m much more of an Ozark gal myself. You seen Ozark yet? It’s kinda like if Netflix made Breaking Bad but tinted everything kinda blue. I just love how Jason Bateman draws from the cold, detached persona he honed in the Arrested Development reboots.”
Joseph: ‘Scott Pilgrim Takes Off’
“When I heard you ask me to play Netflix Games, I figured you must have misspoke somehow. I still don’t know what exactly you meant by that, but you did get me thinking about video games, and that led me to an absolute banger that’s streaming right now: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.”
Aaron: ‘Elysium’
“Remember when Matt Damon looked weird and bald in 2017’s Downsizing? Of course you don’t, and I know you forgot about Elysium too, but it’s a Blomkamp classic up there with the ranks of Chappie. I’ll be honest with you, I tried finding that Netflix Games menu or movie or whatever it was you wanted us to watch, but when I got the homepage and Damon’s bald head was front and center I knew my mind was made up. Sorry.”
Dan: Both ‘Avatar’ Movies
“Screw you guys, I just bought a 4K Blu-ray player and got both Avatar movies on disc. I know what Netflix Games is and I’m sure as hell not wasting any of my precious free time going near that pile of garbage. Sure, my kids use it to play Bloons when I need relief from their constant moaning about being at my place for the weekend, but I myself wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.”
Rick: ‘Uncharted’
“I’m a gamer first and foremost, so I decided to watch the Uncharted movie as I was a huge fan of the games. Little did I know, this movie is terrible and makes Tom Holland look like a little kid running around in his dad’s clothes.”
Brenna: Netflix Games, Actually
“I just went online and watched a video about how to play games on Netflix and it seemed straightforward enough. You browse the Netflix app for the game you want to play, then you download said game from your phone’s app store. Really easy. Oh, what’s that? You want to know what I actually played? I didn’t, after learning all that I got distracted when I saw they had Gladiator and I just had to watch it.”
