HOLLYWOOD — It was announced today that Pedro Pascal will be playing Reed Richards in the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, inciting both die-hard John Krasinski fans to start a petition to recast the role immediately.
“We just wanted some good news, but we got the worst fucking news imaginable tonight,” explained Krasinski superfan Alfred Thomas. “I sprinted to my laptop and started a change.org petition immediately. Right now, there is one other person in there besides me, with signatures expected to skyrocket over the coming days, possibly months or years.”
People were confused upon seeing the petition make the rounds online.
“I don’t know, he was fine on The Office I guess?” said Mark Richter in a reply. “I really don’t know why anyone gives a shit about this. Personally, I’m pretty sick of both of these guys, but I wasn’t gonna see this shameless cash grab anyway.”
Pascal was notified that the petition started just hours after his casting announcement.
“I don’t know, my agent just tells me that geeks and dorks love to see me in this kind of stuff,” explained Pascal. “And I just go along with it. Star Wars, Last of Us, and now Marvel. No offense or anything, and none to Krasinski either. You just gotta go where the money is, and these days, obsessive nerds have all the money.”
At press time, Pascal was simultaneously cast as Jim Halpert in the long-rumored The Office reboot.
