MINNEAPOLIS — Local couple Allen Whittaker and Marie Hampton have begun a co-op playthrough of ‘Baldur’s Gate 3’ in order to invite new characters into their love life, sources close to the pair confirm.
“Things were getting a bit stale, and I don’t just mean in the bedroom,” said Allen Whittaker. “We have so much love for each other, but I think the only way for us to grow as individuals — thereby growing together — is to explore new frontiers. Neither of us are big on the bar scene or anything like that, but I saw the twinkle in Marie’s eye when she looked at Astarion’s character art, so I bought the game. Now we both have room to experiment, but we’re doing it as a team. That way, no one gets hurt.”
While most of the couple’s friends were verbally supportive, some noted discomfort with the way the pair was approaching this shift in their relationship.
“I’ve gotten, like, thirty texts from Allen asking me if I wanted to party up,” said Janie Houston, Marie’s best friend. “I keep telling him that I don’t swing that way. I’m just not into CRPGs. I never will be. If this is what Marie wants and she’s happy with it, then I’m happy too. I just don’t want to be a part of it, and Allen needs to get that through his thick head.”
Psychologist Gregg Tracy noted that Allen and Marie were not the first couple to attempt this strategy.
“Using video games to expand the boundaries of your relationship is as old as the medium itself,” explained Dr. Tracy. “Dr. Higinbotham’s ‘Tennis for Two’ was just a way for him to indulge in his voyeuristic compulsion to watch people twist knobs. The ‘Asteroids’ guy had a crushing fetish that his wife was uncomfortable with, so he created a way that he could explore it electronically. Hell, at least two generations of women have been using ‘The Sims’ to see what their lives would be like if they never got married. This behavior is normal. If anything, it should be encouraged.”
At press time, Allen was reportedly ready to call the whole thing off after Marie had successfully completed several romances while he was still struggling to woo Shadowheart.
