NEW YORK — A critically lauded game that has been significantly marked down from its initial retail price must not be fun anymore, sources have confirmed.
“Oh wow, that Samurai Caper game is down to ten bucks?” asked gamer Aaron Hoover, after seeing the $20 game marked half off. “What’s wrong with it? I’d heard it was pretty good but if they’re willing to sell it for so cheap it must have turned out to be a real lemon. A lot of people might fall for that shit, but I’m too smart for them. Nope, nothing but full price for this guy. Buyer beware, you know?”
Creators of The Samurai Caper insisted they stood by the game and that they were merely trying to move some units.
“The Samurai Caper is the same game as when we released it, if anything it’s actually in better shape now,” said lead designer Tim Hodge about the inexplicable public backlash to the game’s sale. “We have improved bugs, quality of life, added a couple of new songs even. We’re also one of 40 games to go on sale this week, why is this so strange to anyone? We’re just trying to stay competitive out here.”
Despite Quigg’s claims, representatives from Steam confirmed that marking games down is generally a sign that a title is in severe trouble.
“Happens all the time, you do hate to see it,” said Gabe Newell, president and founder of Valve. “Games are just like movies, if no one plays them the first weekend they come out, they’re dead forever. So our store becomes a digital graveyard of shit no one is talking about anymore. When you see these games go on sale, it’s the last breath of a dying game. Tragic, really.”
As of press time, all of those $70 PlayStation games must be really, really good.
