SAN DIEGO — Local gamer Trevor Ingram’s plan to just, like, chill out for a little while and play some games at the end of a crappy day has resulted in everything just getting so much worse, sources have confirmed.
“Oh, well fuck it all to god damned hell,” said Ingram, after losing the second chance tournament he’d entered in Rocket League, having entered the nightly 3-on-3 tournament to try unwind after a particularly taxing day at work. “Why would so many people play a game when all they want to do is fuck around and drive like idiots? Do that in a casual match you absolute motherfuckers. That does it, I can’t take this anymore!”
While it would later be blamed for his subsequent string of arsons, ironically the gaming session was originally meant to calm the dude down.
“Well he had a rough day at the office, that’s for sure,” said Sheridan Gray, a co-worker of Ingram’s, when asked of the potential cause of his historic and criminal meltdown. “Without getting into too much jargon, let’s just say we lost a big account, the company lost a lot of money, and it’s almost entirely Trevor’s fault. He said with the divorce proceedings coming up and all of that he must have lost focus when constructing the contract. Damn. He said he’d be okay once he went home and just played some games. He said that’s his hobby and what helps him destress. I need to find something like that.”
Nicole Fuller, Ingram’s ex-wife, said that he generally kept a calm head throughout their marriage, which lasted from 2011 until earlier this summer, and that she was surprised to hear about his violent outburst, which saw him ultimately be arrested.
“That’s just so unlike him, I don’t understand,” she said. “I didn’t leave him for his brother because of anything he did or any temper problems he has, you understand. That’s why this is so puzzling. He can handle Tony raising his sons, but a video game sends him over the edge? It doesn’t make any sense to me, but then again, we turned out to be pretty incompatible. Not like me and his brother.”
As of press time, having used his savings to bail himself out of jail, Ingram had downloaded League of Legends after hearing it was a chill game to play.
